Near the beginning of Woody Allen’s latest, cash-poor siblings Ian (Ewan McGregor) and Terry (Colin Farrell) mark the maiden voyage of their recently acquired yacht – the ‘Cassandra’s Dream’ of the title – with a rousing rendition of ‘Show Me The Way To Go Home’. By the time this glum tale of crime and punishment has reached its sorry end, you feel like giving Woody directions. Coming off the back of Match Point and Scoop (the latter still unreleased in the UK), Allen’s third British outing is a leaden, soggy affair that rings as false as its stars’ Cockney accents. It also features clunky dialogue delivered with such laughably po-faced sincerity you half suspect this is really a comedy in disguise.
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