Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging (tbc)

Brit director Gurinder Chadha wonders why we don’t make more genre movies in the UK. Well, it’s probably because they end up like this vapid tween romcom – a craven attempt to replicate the US model and win the Bend It Like Beckham maker the Tinseltown gig that’s thus far eluded her. London To Brighton star Georgia Groome is Georgia Nicolson, a 14-year-old Eastbourne misfit who spends her “sad life” seeking her ideal mate (not Angus – he’s a cat) and getting into Bridget Jones-style scrapes (going to a fancy dress party as a stuffed olive or accidentally shaving off half an eyebrow). Throw in a script that’s full of sub-Clueless slang (“Zitney Spears”, “Boy-lingual”) and a risibly pat ending and the result is as chillingly cynical as the way the original title’s Full-Frontal (taken from Louise Rennison’s source novel) got replaced by the innocuous Perfect.

Verdict: NOVERDICT

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