Conan The Destroyer (2004)

Coming just before The Terminator in 1984, this more or less marked the end of Arnold Schwarzenegger's dodgy, low-budget early period. And the budgets don't get much lower than Richard Fleischer's tuppence-ha'penny sequel to Conan The Barbarian.

The special effects make Blake's 7 look like Lord Of The Rings: one of the bad guys is Auf Wiedersehen, Pet's Pat Roach in a monkey mask that could easily have been bought from a joke shop. Second billing, meanwhile, goes to Grace Jones - always a sign of quality. Arnie does his Arnie thing, but you can tell his heart isn't in it. After the following year's Red Sonja, he'd never be seen in a loincloth again.

Read the full Conan The Destroyer review