Heather Graham is back in cinemas today with The Hangover.
It’s great, which must be a relief for Heather’s agent.
It’s been quite a while since the last decent script landed in Heather’s hands.
We mean, just look at some of the movies she’s been making while we stopped paying attention…
The Plot: Three women meet in anger management class, and accidentally kill a friend’s husband.
Somehow, they get a reputation as a kind of ex-boyfriend termination company, treating dodgy men like pest controllers treat ‘roaches. Admittedly, this does sound like a pretty good story.
Who Heather Plays: Central psycho gal. Alex. Sadly, her glasses are more memorable than her performance.
Why You Haven’t Heard Of It: Despite the dark plot, ExTermintors is less Heathers 2 and more The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood 6 – with a light and sentimental tone scuppering the promising premise.
How It Could’ve Been Successful: Keep the same title, but tweak the plot slightly so it’s more about a bunch of out of work T800s (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who are trying to make ends meet by being plumbers and things.
Heather Graham plays a Terminatrix whose wires are so wrong, they make her think that Arnie is an ex-boyfriend who broke her non-existent heart. Hijinks ensue.
We’d basically be combining the humour of Twins with the violence of Terminator 2. It would be the third best film ever made.
Next: Baby On Board