The Informers is out this week.
The '80s-set flick stars Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder and an almost constantly naked Amber Heard. It's not exactly what we imagined when we read Bret Easton Ellis' searing short story collection, but it'll do.
And it's made us think about some other unlikely adaptations - the books that Hollywood probably put back on the shelf because they're a bit too difficult.
But if The Informers can make it to cinemas, surely this lot aren't too far away...
James Joyce: Dubliners
The Book: One of Joyce’s first published works, Dubliners is a collection of short stories providing an incisive illustration of Dublin at the beginning of the twentieth century.
With fifteen separate stories taking their turn, the book is driven by characters, not plots. Perfect for award-hungry actors.
The Movie: A showcase of Irish acting talent, and of non-Irish actors’ accent attempts, Dubliners will feature fifteen different storylines.
For better screen-to-audience translation, these will be linked together somehow, all threads making up one mother narrative. Think Magnolia, Amores Perros, Love Actually, etc.
Michael Gambon, Brendan Gleeson and Elaine Cassidy all star in grubby flat caps and tweed. It’s in black and white, set in an age before anyone could afford colour, and the streets are as grim as the expressions on the old fellers’ puckered mugs.
There will be Baftas.
Gabriel Byrne’s voice-over, as the camera pans over a snowy landscape:
“Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves.”
Cue the lone penny-whistle.
Next: The Wind Singer