Played By: Owen Wilson

Funny How: Low budget bodyguard Drillbit Taylor is about as far from a highly trained specialist as this is from Wilson’s best film (which is The Wedding Crashers, fact fans).

The ever improvising Wilson has moments of hilarity that lift the film out of the abyss... just.

Hobo Wisdom: “You'd be surprised, anything can be turned into a weapon of mayhem or destruction.” (“Even a puppy?”) “Especially a puppy. The Germans used em' in World War I. De Hundin Schtorman, Lightning Dog. They'd attach dynamite to them, Rommel did it, Jerry bastard...”