The Teen: David (Kiefer Sutherland), small-town badass and leader of the local biker gang.

The Badness: Not satisfied with staying out late making a racket on his moped, David spends the rest of his time drinking the blood of unsuspecting kids. He’s a vampire you see…do they do ASBOs for that?

Hug A Hoodie: Steer him in the direction of some Twilight fans. They’ll make a cuddly pin-up of him in minutes! Either that, or there will be a bloodbath. It’s win-win really.