Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
The tagline: 'Everything interesting begins in the mind.'
Why it's rubbish: Umm, doesnt everything begin in the mind? Thoughts. Feelings. The desire to go swimming, have a chocolate eclair, gaze at Sharon Stone's Photoshop-sculpted but strangely mesmerising legs...
Also, 'interesting' is a notorious euphemism for 'not interesting'
And no minds were involved in the making of this motion picture.
Our version: 'An old lady has sex with David Morrissey.'
The Butterfly Effect (2004)
The tagline: 'It will all end in the beginning.'
Why it's rubbish: A man in the Butterfly Effect marketing department thought that, given the film's theme of cause/effect mathematics, it would be cute to present the film itself as a complex system, prone to the vagaries of chaos theory.
But the film is not a complex system. It is a cack-handed, straight to DVD-quality thriller whose script should have been thrown into a big burning bin.
Our version: 'Your interest in this film will end when you see that Ashton Kutcher is in it.'
Comments
eadie2001
Apr 14th 2009, 14:04
What about the best ever taglines though? Surely has to go to Black Christmas with the tagline of: 'Last Christmas, you gave me your heart.....Now i want your eyeballs!'
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alowe
Apr 14th 2009, 15:01
Haha. Ace, yeah. My favourite tagline ever is Texas Chainsaw ("Who will survive and what will become of them?") Brr. Quite like Maniac Cop, too - "You have the right to remain silent... forever!"
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alowe
Apr 14th 2009, 15:01
Sorry. That should have been "what will be left of them". Duuuuuuuuuuuh.
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BudBaxter
Apr 14th 2009, 15:17
The Suspiria one is especially rubbish as the movie's only 98 minutes long!
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avoidz
Apr 18th 2009, 14:51
Another Black Christmas one: "If this picture doesn't make your skin crawl... it's on TOO TIGHT!"
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