8. The Green Mile (1999)
Why it’s bad: Right, so this is a film about... uh... wait, is he a cop or what?
Ok, so it’s an authority figure who, like, looks at things in a slightly wonky way?
Hold on, let’s see if that tiny, myopia-inducing tagline helps us out at all. *squint* No. No, it doesn’t.
What could improve it: Well, Hanks’ spammy mug not having apparently been laminated might’ve reigned in the inherent queasiness a tad.
But something - anything - to give those of us who didn’t read the Stephen King novel a clue about the plot would’ve been nice.
I’m not paying money to watch a plastic park-keeper staring at something (possibly this very poster) in vague bewilderment.
7. Charlie’s Angels (2000)
Why it’s bad: The Angels look like bored extras from a Next catalogue, for one – and what’s the point in featuring them at all if we can’t at least see who they are without reading the names?
Also, whoever decided that orange could be offset nicely with a good slash of livid purple needs dragging back from the ‘70s and given a swift kick in the Jaffas with the Mahogany Clogs of Superior Taste.
What could improve it: It’s pretty much beyond salvation, this one – but they could at least have photocopied in a half-decent flame effect, rather than something that looks more like a macro shot of a particularly loud feather boa.
Comments
scarter2000
Apr 21st 2009, 22:17
Disagree with Wanted. I really like it. And your comment about Ange. Erm... There is nothing wrong with her head/limb positioning. If it was her right arm in the pic, then yeh. But no. Epic fail. Also,the Star Wars poster is iconic and amazing. You could have chosen some s****y poster like Basic Instinct 2 or Big Mommas House 2.
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alowe
Apr 22nd 2009, 8:42
Wanted arm wrangle aside, it's still pap. And BI2/Big Momma's House 2 are easy 'cos they're rubbish films. Star Wars poster is ridiculous - it only feels iconic because it's familiar. Art though, innit? :)
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digger
Apr 22nd 2009, 9:12
Guys, can we just take a moment here to think about Bangkok Dangerous, where Nicolas Cage's hand grips nothing...surely that must be in the top 10 somewhere
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mattburgess
Apr 22nd 2009, 11:06
Nobody ever told me that The Hottie and the Nottie features Paris Hilton rooming with a zombie...
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ThrashGordon
Apr 22nd 2009, 11:49
hahaha awesome guys, loved the Green Mile comments. Also, too right at Star Wars; Mark Hamill with a six-pack?? :D The Wanted poster is rubbish, I agree with the limb deformity thing... looks like an arm is growing out of her neck! Scary stuff! lol I'm surprised there was no comment on the fact that the poster for 'the hottie & the nottie' ( :/ ) the 'hot' and not so hot girl are labelled for the audience's benefit!! We do have eyes you know. lmao
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MarkPowell
Apr 22nd 2009, 12:08
@digger - haha, yeah that glorious flub was definitely overlooked. Well reminded! @scarter2000 - you don't think it looks as though Jolie's collarbone and/or spinal column must be about four centimetres long? Hm. Maybe it's just me then...I am, admittedly, not a doctor. ;) (Either way, I still can't stand the poster. Biology aside, one word: GOOOOOOOOOOLD.)
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Padman
Apr 22nd 2009, 12:35
I'm only on the first page, but I feel I have to say that in my opinion the Breakfast at Tiffany's poster, while a boring movie poster, is always a nice, clean classy looking one on a magnolia living room wall, and as such is fairly classic. And the Star Wars one with it's ludicrous hyperbolic drawings of characters who don't ressemble their real-life counterparts is also a classic! It can't be put in such a list as it's in it's own way a piece of history, surely?! Though admittedly these ones are both better: http://kspark.kaist.ac.kr/Star%20Wars/Star%20Wars.files/StarWars%20poster.jpg http://images.art.com/images/products/regular/10204000/10204240.jpg And yes, reading the comments, that Bangkok Dangerous one with Nicholas Cage clutching nothing, whilst shooting his way out of a glass box sinking in fire definitely should have made it on... why would you (presumably) photoshop out the gun?! I don't understand!!
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Padman
Apr 22nd 2009, 12:46
@ ThrashGordon; I believe the labels on The Hottie & The Nottie poster are meant to be a play on Paris Hilton's real-life (or at least Simple Life) catchphrase of referring to anything she likes by saying "that's hot", but no, this doesn't make the whole affair any less detestable. LMAO @ the plastic park keeper in The Green Mile, that is indeed quite a shocking lack of information. The Meet The Fockers one to me, rather than the film name, seems to focus on shouting "look at our cast! Look at our cast! You recognise them all, don't you? It's because they're really famous! That makes our film good! Look at our cast!!"
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SCQ47
Apr 22nd 2009, 15:09
If this is your top ten, you've clearly not seen very many films or film posters in your life time.
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spudmonkeysteve
Apr 24th 2009, 10:13
At everyone who has complained about this top ten, especially SCQ47 who says that because they have chosen these because they haven't seen many films. These posters are chosen because they do not adequately put across the point of the movie, the Star Wars poster looks like Conan The Barbarian in space, for example and, while it is an iconic piece of cinema imagery, does not adequately advertise the film. The image itself is very arty etc but you don't get a sense for what the film is about from the image. Also because something looks good on a magnolia wall does not make it classy or iconic, bravo to Total Film for being brave enough to challenge the commonly held opinion.
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razzaman123
May 6th 2009, 17:46
argh man paris hilton sucks to the fullist i hate the hell out of her damn shes annoying
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razzaman123
May 6th 2009, 17:46
th family guy blue harvest poster is better than that star wars one
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featherdustball
Jun 20th 2012, 14:34
How Bangkok Dangerous escaped this list I'll never know
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