8. The Green Mile (1999)
Why it’s bad: Right, so this is a film about... uh... wait, is he a cop or what?
Ok, so it’s an authority figure who, like, looks at things in a slightly wonky way?
Hold on, let’s see if that tiny, myopia-inducing tagline helps us out at all. *squint* No. No, it doesn’t.
What could improve it: Well, Hanks’ spammy mug not having apparently been laminated might’ve reigned in the inherent queasiness a tad.
But something - anything - to give those of us who didn’t read the Stephen King novel a clue about the plot would’ve been nice.
I’m not paying money to watch a plastic park-keeper staring at something (possibly this very poster) in vague bewilderment.
7. Charlie’s Angels (2000)
Why it’s bad: The Angels look like bored extras from a Next catalogue, for one – and what’s the point in featuring them at all if we can’t at least see who they are without reading the names?
Also, whoever decided that orange could be offset nicely with a good slash of livid purple needs dragging back from the ‘70s and given a swift kick in the Jaffas with the Mahogany Clogs of Superior Taste.
What could improve it: It’s pretty much beyond salvation, this one – but they could at least have photocopied in a half-decent flame effect, rather than something that looks more like a macro shot of a particularly loud feather boa.