Christmas is the time of year when families dig out their board-games from the loft so they can argue, cheat and gloat at each other. Well, forget Cranium - these are the games we want to subject our relatives to this year.
The Running Man Game Show from The Running Man (1987)
The Original: Convicted men are slaughtered by gladiatorial warriors as they try to win their freedom. If they survive the game, they go free.
How We’d Play It: We’d stick some American football gear onto our nan, hand her a fork and tell her to jab at us while we try and get past her into the kitchen. If we survive the game, we get a cup of tea.
Colossal Cave Adventure from Big (1988)
The Original: World’s first videogame, played by Tom Hanks when he was a youngster. It had a Wizard in it.
How We’d play It: Pull a couple of wires out of the back of our Playstation 3, kick it a few times, smash in our TV screen, then tell our granddad to read us Harry Potter while we try to play Little Big Planet.
Lightcycles from Tron (1982)
The Original: Scientist gets stuck in a computer and has to fizz around an electro arena on a lightcycle against other lightcycles in order to escape.
How we’d play it: Trap our aunt and uncle in the garage, throw them a couple of bicycles with torches strapped on the front and make them peddle until we get bored.
Jumanji Board Game from Jumanji (1995)
The Original: Couple of kids play a mystical board-game, which releases a hairy man-child and a load of weird and wonderful creatures into the world.
How We’d Play It: Hide a tramp in a wardrobe under strict instructions to leap out when he hears the family arguing about Trivial Pursuit. Maybe Sellotape a dog, a cat and a hamster to his leg for good measure.
Death Race from Death Race 2000 (1975)
The Original: Tooled up murder cars race across America, gunning down pedestrians for extra points. Ridiculous costumes include leather masks.
How We’d Play It: Peashooter wielding drunkards race across our garden, pelting squirrels for extra points. Ridiculous costumes include Santa hats.
Quidditch from Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002)
The Original: We’re not sure if even JK Rowling knows the rules to Quidditch. It’s the weirdest game ever created.
Still, we’re pretty sure it involves flying around on the back of a broomstick trying to score pointless goals to rack up high scores that’ll be rendered instantly useless by someone catching the Golden Snitch
How We’d Play It: Bomb around on the back of a hoover, kicking footballs at our little brother’s face until he catches one of the Maltesers we’re chucking at him.
The game from The Game (1997)
The Original: Essentially a rollercoaster ride, with people instead of a rollercoaster and your life instead of a track. Or is it? It is. Or is it?
How We’d Play It: Drive our nan to the local shopping centre on Christmas day when everything’s shut, leave her there, then hire an actor to give her the wrong directions home.
Nuclear War Game from WarGames (1983)
The Original: Teenage hacker finds a back door into Government supercomputer and nearly starts World War III.
How We’d Play It: Hack into our sister’s Facebook account while she’s distracted by mince pies and leave a series of insulting comments claiming that one half of her Facebook chums hates the other half and nearly start World War III.
Russian Roulette from The Deer Hunter (1978)
The Original: Our heroes are handed a gun with one bullet in the chamber, told to spin it, before being forced to hold it against their temple and pull the trigger.
How We’d Play It: Hand grandpa his old army revolver, tell him the Germans are coming and duck.
The Puzzle Box from Hellraiser (1987)
The Original: Chinese puzzle which, when solved, unleashes a horde of demonic Cenobites dressed in S&M gear intent on tearing your soul apart.
How’d We’d Play It: Paint a Rubix Cube black and get our girlfriend to put on the wet look leggings we got her for Christmas.
Sexy chess from The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)
The Original: Okay, so it’s pretty much normal chess, but with a bit of sexy rubbing and flirting thrown in.
How We’d Play It: Hide the chess set from our parents and kick over the Christmas tree if they try to look for it.