The Costumes: Theatrical as hell. Minnie Driver dons a wig that’s bigger than her torso before wearing a furry wrap that looks like that huggy thing out of the Vicks advert.

The Constrictions: That mask looks pretty tight for a start. Forced into hiding after being abused as a child, the eponymous Phantom is a tragic figure of prejudice and victimisation.

Meanwhile, the unattainable object of his affection is torn between her suitors. It’s a tough life.

If They Changed Costumes: What the Phantom really needs is the facemask from Jim Carrey's The Mask. It's a more effective mood-changer than Prozac: no moping on this Phantom's menu. Might even get the girl this time.