The Government: Welcome to a Daily Mail reader’s worst nightmare, as drug-fuelled teenage gangs prowl the streets, terrorising helpless Middle-Englanders and, er, listening to Beethoven. Broken Britain indeed, but who’s running the place? A government at the end of their tether it seems, perhaps explaining their radical new technique for dealing with teenage tearaways.

Involving a heady mix of straitjacket, drugs and intensely violent films, the Ludovico technique is a form of brainwashing that turns a potential menace to society into a gibbering wreck. Test-subject Alex might be a bit of a wrong’un, but it’s the free will-fearing government bods that are the film’s real scaries.

Better Than Labour? Cameron would have you believe they’ve let the country go to the dogs in a similar fashion, although in fairness, Alex and his Droogs would be prime candidates for membership to the Bullingdon Club.