Hi, we’ve never met, but we like you. Seriously, you’re brilliant. We genuinely wish we were actual friends with you in the real world and everything.

Because if we were, we’d get to see your little face light up when you unwrapped the following presents. If we knew you, this is what you'd get for Christmas.



Wolverine Transformer
Yep, you read that right. A Transformer that turns into Wolverine actually exists. We love this world.

We’re not sure why he’s a rally truck and not a Wolverine, but we don’t care enough not to buy it for you. It’s a Transformer that turns into a Wolverine. That’s two of the best things ever made, in one thing.

Why you’d like it: Because if you don’t, then that means you don’t like Wolverine or Transformers and we’re not sure if we understand that concept.

Buy it for yourself at Play



Wall-E Transforming Toy
Okay, so it’s not an actual Transformer like Wolverine, but he does turn into a box, which makes him okay by us.

Why you’d like it: Because you’ll be able to stage elaborate scraps between a Wall-E Transformer and Wolverine Transformer. Which is better, a box or a truck? There’s only one way to find out... fight!

Buy it for yourself at John Lewis



LEGO Death star
It’s a bloody LEGO Death Star. Life doesn’t get much better than this.

Why you’d like it: Because you get to build a Death Star out of LEGO. And if you can’t be arsed to finish it, it doesn’t matter – it’s the one from Return Of The Jedi, which was only partially constructed in the first place! You can have fun /and/ be lazy!

Buy it for yourself at Amazon



Kota The Triceratops Dinosaur
Okay, we lied – life does get better than a LEGO Death Star. Especially when you’re RIDING ON THE BACK OF A DINOSAUR. This is the kind of thing that happens to our friends.

Why you’d like it: Because it’s as close as you’ll get to being in Jurassic Park, which is where we’ve lived in our heads since 1993.

Buy it for yourself at Amazon



Plush Zombie
It’s a zombie cuddly toy that you can tear apart and put back together again whilst muttering the entire Return Of The Living Dead script under your breath.

Why you’d like it: We think that zombies are the kings of movie monsters and we’ll take any opportunity to re-enact our favourite zombie movies, even on Christmas day. Join. Us.

Buy it for yourself at Think Geek

Jessica Biel Photograph
So, you’re halfway through opening our presents to you.

You’re riding on a back of a giant dinosaur having built a LEGO Death Star that has just come under attack from a Transformer Wolverine, his new mate Wall-E (we knew they couldn’t stay angry at each other for long) and a giant cuddly zombie.

But there’s something missing…what we possibly give you at this point to make Christmas even more brilliant? Of course! A picture of Jessica Biel!

Why you’d like it: Because she really is pretty.

Buy it for yourself at Amazon