Korg Kaossilator
Pretty much the most awesome thing we bought this year, the Kaosillator is essentially a Casio keyboard in touchpad form, and almost every song you record on it sounds like it was created on John Carpenter’s synth.

Why you’d like it: If we had our way, John Carpenter would be the sole score composer working in Hollywood today.

Sure, movie release dates would start to get further and further apart, but that’s a small price to pay for awe-inspiring soundtracks. This is the next best thing.

Buy it for yourself at Think Geek



Marvel Civil War – HC
It’s never going to be made into a film – the plot’s so epic it’d require the budget of two Titanics – but Marvel’s Civil War event stars every member of the Marvel family –  including Wolverine, Iron Man, Spider-Man and The Punisher – having a massive scrap. It’s what Christmas is all about.

Why you’d like it: If you’re a regular visitor to totalfilm.com, you’ll know we like our comic-book movies. And Marvel Civil War is the comic-book movie we want to see most.

Buy it for yourself at Forbidden Planet



The Joker Deluxe 13" Collector's Figure
Still on the comic-book theme, your totalfilm.com stocking wouldn’t be complete without this brilliant Joker figure. It’s bloody massive.

Why you’d like it: Like us, you realise that the Joker was the greatest movie character of 2008 and you like to celebrate that fact by saying his lines in a weird voice whilst waggling a large action figure.

Buy it for yourself at Play



Jason Statham Mug
It’s a mug with loads of pictures of Jason Statham on it. Mum, if you’re reading this, we want one.

Why you’d like it: If you're a regular reader of totalfilm.com, you'll be aware that we've been unashamed Jason Statham fans for quite a while now and, according to the ebay listing, the Jason Statham mug would especially appeal to Jason Statham fans. Which is a bit like saying Twilight would especially appeal to teenage girls but still, we want one, and we're sure you do too.

Buy it for yourself at ebay



The Wire – Complete Boxset
So close to the movies we expect someone to try and sell us popcorn during the ad breaks – this is as good as DVD boxsets get.

Why you’d like it: You’re a fan of complex mediations on the moral decay inherent within modern America. Also, you like guns, boobies and swearing.

Buy it for yourself at Play



Steven Seagal – Mojo Priest
It’s an album by Steven Seagal. We’re almost certain that if you could only choose one present on this list that one would be this one.

Why you’d like it: It includes the hits ‘Alligator Ass’, ‘Hoochie Coochie Man’ and ‘Talk To My Ass’. We promise we haven’t made any of those titles up.

Buy it for yourself at Play

Now we’ve give you a load of imaginary presents, now it’s your turn – what would you buy for us? Tell us below!