The Exorcist: Father Jebedaiah Mayii (Leslie Nielsen)

Pros: He comes with experience, having ridden Nancy (original Exorcist star Linda Blair) of a demonic possession several years earlier.

Cons: He's past his prime, and requires a great deal of persuasion to get back in the game. The constant comedic mugging could becoming grating, especially in your hour of need.

USP: Wait until you see his Elton John and Michael Jackson impersonations...

Business Card Slogan: Also available for weddings, birthdays and bar mitzvahs