14 Utterly Bizarre Watchmen Collectibles

Countdown to Alan Moore meltdown begins…


Back in the ‘80s, DC tried to promote the Watchmen graphic novel by selling a bunch of smiley face buttons.


That is, until Alan Moore stepped in and forced them to tear them from the shelves.

We can only hope and pray he doesn’t do a signing in a comic-book store that sells merchandise any time soon, or we’re pretty sure he’ll either explode with anger, or collapse in the corner into a curled weeping ball of hair.

That’s because Warners have gone absolutely mental with the promotion of this flick. Seriously, good taste and sense have gone totally out of the window.

However, if you’re the sort of person who wants to send your kids off to school with a lunchbox featuring a blue man murdering people in Vietnam on the front, or if you want to hang a banner of a rapist ‘wanting you’ on the wall, you’re in the right place.

You can see 14 terrible merchandise decisions by heading for the gallery to your right or clicking through our feature. Collect ‘em all!

1. Rorschach Messenger Bag

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2. Dr Manhattan Baseball Cap

3. Dr Manhattan Lunchboxes

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4. Rorschach Beanie


5. Rorschach Ink Blotter

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6. Pop Art Drinks Coasters


7. Rorschach Banner

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8. Wall Clock

9. Group Shot Lunchboxes

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10. Fridge Magnets

11. Dr Manhattan Messenger Bag

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12. The Comedian Banner

 13. The End Is Nigh Beanie

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14. Rorschach Lunchbox

If you're angry about the commercialisation of Watchmen, maybe you should read about Why Alan Moore Hates Comic-Book Movies. If you like movie merchandise, you should have a look at 28 Incredible New Transformers Toys.

Comments

    • NickyC

      Feb 20th 2009, 12:53

      So it's official then, the Watchmen movie HAS turned into the exact thing that it was NEVER supposed to be, embracing the carbon-copy superhero factory line that Alan Moore's work tries so hard to rebel against. I will not be paying money to see this movie. Dr. Manhattan lunch box ... f*ck off! Someone had to say it ... other than Moore himself of course.

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    • doncobaino

      Feb 20th 2009, 14:21

      Its funny I think this merchandise will invite kids to try and see the movie, thinking its gonna be the next spiderman. Where good ole peter parker has super powers gets the girl, saves the world. I'd love to see their face when they actually see what the Watchmen is.... (not this merchandise) nice clock though!

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    • Rorshach501

      Feb 20th 2009, 14:21

      I just think its funny that they're releasing lunchboxes for an 18 certificate film. Silence of the Lambs lunchbox anyone?

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    • weleasewoger

      Feb 20th 2009, 14:51

      I can't see why people are jumping up and down so much. Sure it seems a bit bizarre and pretty funny to have this sort of merch, but this is a fact of life. We're ALL part of the machine and even Mr Moore and his fans should accept this. Has he never drank Coke or worn a pair of Nikes?? I doubt it, get over yourself... I'm just looking forward to seeing what seems to be a reasonably faithful adaptation of a great graphic novel. Surely even the holier than thow Alan Moore can see the irony?!! I do like the idea of a Silence of the Lambs lunchbox - inappropriate merch ideas anyone?? Funny Games golf clubs

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    • red157

      Feb 20th 2009, 16:30

      It's awful, granted, but that doesn't stop me wanting the Comedian banner any less. NickyC gave me my first laugh of the day by using this as a reason not see the movie. It turning out to be s**te is a good reason not to pay to see it, however being surprised a blockbuster has got tie-in merchandise is just silly.

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    • Rorshach501

      Feb 20th 2009, 16:46

      I think the Dr Manhattan hat is especially ironic cos in the book the PR guys try to make him wear one just like that but he refuses

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    • Rorshach501

      Feb 20th 2009, 16:50

      And on the inappropriate merch ideas front I'm thinking Knocked Up condoms?

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    • thedarkknight

      Feb 21st 2009, 16:37

      Dr Manhattan "PEZ" dispenser?

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    • NickyC

      Feb 23rd 2009, 13:46

      Red 157: I didn't say I wasn't going to see it, I said I wasn't going to pay. Also, my point was that the merch is, to me, an indicator/metaphor for Snyder's approach to the film. Make of that what you will.

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    • schwingmeister4

      Feb 26th 2009, 21:10

      Hahaha, Funny Games golf clubs. Should come in a twin pack with kid sized pillow case... I think the clock looks quite cool. The lunchboxes are especially suspect though.

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