Nike Dunk SB - Dawn Of The Dead
When we heard that Nike were making Dawn Of The Dead themed sneaks, we immediately started salivating and murmuring traaaaaaaaaain-eeeeeers.
What form would they take? Would they look all battered and zombie-fied? Would they have flecks of brains and skull-matter on them? No. They simply had similar colours to the poster. Brilliant.
Nike Dunk SB - Freddy Krueger
When our Freddy Krueger trainers arrived in the post, we couldn't wait to put them on. Then we took them out of the box and defecated.
Because these sneaks are pretty much the scariest things hidden at the back of our closet. Just one look at them on makes us think that we've nodded off and we're about to suffer an ironic death via our feet.
Nike Dunks SB - Fantastic 4
The Thing editions of the Fantastic 4 trainers are fantastic. Nice colours, nice theme, comfy fit.
However, The Torch's are hideous, looking more like an abandoned Pokemon than a pair of shoes; the Mr Fantastic's make us feel like we should be wearing them in the gym (which is never good), and we wish the Invisible Girl's could actually disappear. Despite this fact, being completists, we had to own them all.
Look at the picture. They look like someone's eaten too many sweets and been sick on them. Which, we suppose fits the theme, but would you want to wear them? No!
Scarface Air Force Ones
Another pair inspired by the poster that resolutely refuses to fulfil the potential of the concept. We'd rather wear Hawaiian shirt inspired sneakers than these sub-bowling shoes.
Nike Dunks SB - Ferris Bueller Edition
We're starting to think we'll never be happy. We hate the trainers inspired by posters, and when Nike go to the trouble of designing a pair based on the character, we hate them too. Seriously, leopard print on a pair of sneakers? No thanks.
Two pairs in this set. One makes us feel like the biggest geeks in the world, one that makes us feel like Peaches Geldof. Guess which one we hate.
They were inspired by the Godfather game, not the film, but that's no excuse. The trainers themselves are plastic and ugly, and as for that in-sole design - the idea of a Corleone soaking up the sweat from our sport socks fills us with dread, not glee.
Nike Hyperdunks - MyCfly Edition
Don't get us wrong, these shoes are technically brilliant. But they don't have self-tying laces and there's no LED logo on the strap. So, unfortunately, they have to go on the naughty list.
Star Wars Adidas Super Stars
Again, we love these shoes with a passion, especially the action figure style packaging they come in.
But the problem is the character designs they chose to go with. Darth Vader, fine. We like a black trainer. But we don't want to wear Yoda themed slippers. We want Mandolorian armour style Boba Fett sneaks. Also, the packaging's so good we've never actually removed them to try ‘em on, which is a bit of a weakness.
Transformer trainers that don't transform? Someone call Trading Standards!
Nike Dunk SB - Spiderman
Spider-Man is red, black, white and BLUE, shoe people. Where's the blue in this design? Chuck in the missing colour, add some suckers to the soles so we can climb the walls and then we'll talk.
Air Jordan Spizikes - Do The Right Thing
These shoes perfectly encapsulate the poster design of Spike Lee's classic flick. But would we ever want to wear them? No, we would not. They're hideous, guy.
Nike Dunk SB - Oompa Loompa
We laughed pretty hard when we saw these trainers the first time. Then we realised that they weren't a joke, and Nike actually expected us to buy a pair of shoes themed around green-haired dwarf slaves.