Death Spheres
The Movie: Phantasm Series (1979-)
The Weapon: Flying Silver Balls with built in retractable spikes, cranial drills, saw and barb-blades.
Why It’s Awesomely Stupid: One of the most terrifying contraptions in horror movie history, the Phantasm spheres are responsible for some of the best kills in the series.
Let’s face it though, autonomous spheres with a thirst for human brains are hardly gonna trouble you on the trip to the local off-license. The propulsion and flight system for these things alone is completely out of this world.
When the film they appear in involves an evil interdimensional mortician who kills people and shrinks them down into his personal dwarf slaves, then the spheres fit in fine, sure.
But if you think about it, what it the one item of self defense that most people have access to? A bat of some kind. Baseball, cricket, even metal pipes and two-by-fours are commonplace in most homes.
All you’d need to do is get swing happy.
Heat Seeking Bullets
The Movie: Runaway (1984)
The Weapon: Bullets that could be encoded with an individual target’s unique thermal signature, and once fired would follow them, even around corners, until they hit the target.
Why It’s Awesomely Stupid: Aside from being devised by Gene Simmons, fired by Gene Simmons and laughed maniacally about by Gene Simmons, these slugs are pretty dope.
Well, if you discount the fact that they can track you around corners. That is what we like to call a ‘no bueno’ situation. One of the best parts about a gun fight is hiding behind something, using your skill as a marksman to hit a target.
These bullets ruin all that. Also, how exactly can an object, fired at high velocity from a firearm, stop and turn a corner, and then carry on? If it had built in propulsion, like a small missile then maybe.
The shots in the movie, using a point-of-view camera to show the bullet’s trajectory, were indeed awesome, but the idea that these bullets will be possible in the near future is just silly.
Or is it?
Comments
Aberskene
Aug 21st 2009, 15:41
As for the Judge Dredd gun...he's also wearing gloves!!
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Jaymo
Aug 22nd 2009, 20:58
I loved Runaway. It was like Magnum in space or something.....
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RobWinton
Aug 24th 2009, 11:33
Ah, but something DOES stop the lightsaber going on forever. It's actually a beam that bends around and terminates back in the hilt... which is MUCH more plausible... right?
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dgoodswen
Aug 24th 2009, 16:20
Ah, the old 'particle chainsaw' theory... yeah, totally plausible...
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metalgatesolid
Jan 2nd 2010, 19:55
Im sorry...The lightsabre, the weapon we all think we have if we hve a stick or long cardboard tube, the weapon everyone wished they had is the ultimate stupid movie weapon!!??? Dam you total film, DAM YOOOOOOOU!!
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