Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
The Movie: Er, Indy has to do something… Nuclear Fridge… Something about a son he didn’t know he had… Commies… Ray Winstone and John Hurt… Inter-dimensional Aliens…
We’d try and recall more actual detail, but this only results in physical pain, and, well, it’s hard to type when you’re sobbing like a baby.
Death By: Ants – Fighting against a pack of rabid Commies in the South American jungle, both sides are set upon by a nest of giant red ants.
Indy narrowly avoids the pesky critters, but one of the Commies isn’t so lucky, and the Ants engulf him, inside and out, before carrying him off to their nest. Ewww.
If This Was The Real World: Taking advantage of the quite glorious climate, you go for a sunbathe in the back garden. The red ants don’t take kindly to this and bite you.
You suffer an allergic reaction, and drown in your own fluids.
Happy Birthday To Me (1981)
The Movie: It’s Ginny’s 18th birthday, but she is plagued by blackouts after an accident a year ago.
When all her friends start dying one by one, is Ginny herself responsible? Or will the plot get so twisted that even Wikipedia can’t explain it? (That’s a yes).
Death By: Kebab Skewer – Inviting popular kid Steve to her house for dinner, Ginny (or is it?) is feeding Steve shish kebabs.
When he leaves his mouth open, Ginny (or whoever) shoves the steel skewer down his throat, killing him instantly.
If This Was The Real World: Three sheets to the wind and stopping for a post-pub snack, you enter the local kebab house and wind-up choking to death on a piece of mystery meat.