No Country For Old Men (2007)
The Movie: Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong and makes off with $2 Million in cash, much to the annoyance of the money’s owners.
They dispatch psychopath assassin Anton Chigurh to retrieve the money, and events quickly descend into murder, mayhem and madness.
Death By: Pneumatic Cattle Bolt – Chigurh steals a police car after escaping jail, and pulls over a motorist on a deserted road – approaching the confused man with his canister and hose.
He presses the hose against the man’s forehead and pushes the valve, sending the pressurised bolt straight through his skull. Unlucky.
If This Was The Real World: Anticipating hilarity, you rent a helium canister from a party hire company.
Three sheets to the wind, you and your drunk mates take turns breathing the helium and singing popular hits, until you go and open the valve too far - you explode your lungs and die in high-pitched agony.
The Long Ships (1964)
The Movie: A crew of Vikings led by Rolfe (Richard Widmark) quest to Africa in search of The Mother Of Voices, a legendary bell made of solid gold.
They are captured by Mansuh (Sidney Poitier), King of the Moors, who seeks the bell for himself, and intends to use the Vikings to get it for him.
Death By: The Mare of Steel – Demonstrating his power over his people in front of his Viking captives, Mansuh commands one of his guards to ride the Mare of Steel.
Turns out the Mare of Steel is a 20ft high, 30ft long steel blade, which the guard is dropped onto. He slides down it, being cut neatly in two.
If This Was The Real World: Testing out that new chainsaw you got in the Father’s Day sale at B&Q, you get a bit lively with the throttle and lose control.
Before you know it you’re half the man you used to be.
Comments
ebrown2112
Jul 8th 2009, 9:33
Mr. Creosote didn't die...
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PadmanForever
Jul 8th 2009, 20:06
The writer did acknowledge that ;)
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Chaffro
Jul 8th 2009, 20:19
How on earth did you miss out Robert De Niro's demise in Terry Gilliam's incredible Brazil? Possibly the most bizarre of all movie deaths! Even more bizarre than being stabbed or shot! Come on TF!
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euanmcgrath
Jul 9th 2009, 10:22
basically it appears the guy in The Long Ships.. dies from falling over? ahh the old days..
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dgoodswen
Jul 9th 2009, 12:59
Yeah, if some modern director did a remake of The Long Ships, say Eli Roth, we'd get a 5 minute, all angles, slo-mo, re-capped, CG'd to buggery death scene showing the guy being cut in two... what happened to leaving things to the imagination?
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ojs99
Jul 10th 2009, 11:38
With Seven, I was thinking that the Sloth death would be more bizarre
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DanRose
Jul 10th 2009, 14:23
I think there are much better deaths out there then the ones you have mentioned! Slither fat bird, switchblade romance's head in the bannister and William Hurt in Alien to name but three...
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Apathygrrl
Jul 23rd 2009, 12:01
Hooray for Leland Orser
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QuicksilverFox
Aug 4th 2009, 18:41
Vagina dentata, what a wonderful phrase...vagina dentata, ain't no passing craze... *hums along*
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Faers
Sep 22nd 2009, 2:24
Thunder in Big Trouble in Little China
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gwobblewopkins
Dec 8th 2009, 2:14
This list could have been so many more than just 15... How about these: The football with the sword attached- Graduation Day (1981) The showerhead impalement- My Bloody Valentine (1981) Pulled down the sink- The Blob (1988) Shotgun impalement- Pumpkinhead (1988) Finger bullets- Shoot 'em up Carrots- Shoot 'em up Waterbed drowning- A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master Head punched off- Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan The ball- Any "Phantasm" film Razor frisbee- Phantasm 3: Lord of the Dead Starfish shuriken- The Toxic Avenger: Part 2 Swordfish impalement- The Toxic Avenger: Part 2 Human milkshake- The Toxic Avenger (I hate to even involve this one, but you started it when you brought up "Teeth") p***s impalement- Scary Movie Double chest-burster- Alien Ressurection I just came up with a list of fifteen on my own, this topic could have been endless!
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