The Kidnappers: A badass Mexican gang of pro abductors, led by a shady enigma initially known only as 'The Voice' (Roberto Sosa, rather than Whitney Houston).

The Kidnappee: Minted daddy's girl Lupita Ramos (Dakota Fanning).

Does It End Well? Sure, for Lupita and folks; less so for plucky victim-chaser John Creasy (Denzel Washington).

Leaking shot-up organs like a human colander, he shuffles off this mortal coil in a kidnapper's car after trading himself for the kid.

Which is kind of ripping the bad guys off, really, but they probably didn't get a warranty.