The Kidnapper: Deranged lit-groupie Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates, on truly blood-curdling nutter form).

The Kidnappee: Hit - although we can't help betting probably kinda shit - romance novelist Paul Sheldon (James Caan).

Does It End Well? Most people would say yes, given that our hero eventually limps away after stoving Annie's face in on - oh, delicious irony! - a well-placed typewriter.

But given that he's already had both his shinbones bisected with a lump hammer at this point, we're not convinced psychological escape is ever going to be possible.

Imagine that as a supermarket flashback...eesh.