The Kidnapper: John Kramer/Jigsaw (Tobin Bell), a deranged moralist with the flimsiest of grasps on irony.

The Kidnappees: Lawrence Gordon (Carey Elwes) and Adam Faulkner (Leigh Wannell), a doctor and a photographer respectively.

Does It End Well? One bloke's skull powdered by the lid of a toilet; one bloke chained up and sealed alive inside a hidden tomb; one bloke sawing through his own leg in a likely doomed effort to crawl to safety; one killer skipping the scene with a wink and a whistle.

Hardly ideal, then...but it didn't quite go entirely to plan for ol' Jiggy, so we're counting it as a botch job anyway.