The Short: From The Drain (1967)

Like the other David (Lynch), Cronenberg's early days were marked with unfettered, arty ideas beloved of film school students.

But the roots (no pun intended if you've seen the shocker of an ending) of his particular brand of filmic funkiness are visible right here.

Two blokes - who you might assume to be veterans of a past war, but they're really not - sit in a bathtub discussing various subjects. One is obsessed with the drain, one is indifferent.

We won't spoil the finale.

If It Was Made Feature-Length: It's another difficult piece to imagine making into a workable movie, but we'll give it a shot.

Drain could largely be a two-hander between two shellshocked veterans of a war who discover that something is terribly wrong with the hospital they've been recuperating in.

As the layers of reality start to peel and they discover they're suffering the after-effects of a controversial military experiment, they try to break out.

But it won't be that easy....



The Short: Day Of The Fight (1951)

Stanley Kubrick made this documentary format look at a boxer building up to a night in the ring for $3,900 and cannily sold it to RKO for $4,000.

It's in newsreel style and such was its impact that it ended up referenced in the likes of Raging Bull as one of the best looks at the sport (before Scorsese happened along, of course).

If It Was Made Feature-Length: We have two possible options for this one.

Obviously Kubrick can't make a new version, but what about getting Cameron Crowe to put his journalistic hat back on and follow a modern day fighter on his routine before a big clash - be it boxing or MMA.

Crowe's reporting background would make for a compelling piece.

Either that, or we'd have Steven Spielberg shoot a dramatic version with Sam Worthington as Walter Cartier.

This time, it would be 100% without stupid alien robots.

And thinking of The Beard...

Next: Steven Spielberg & Guillermo del Toro