Michael Bay decides to make a small, personal movie
Why It Won’t Happen: Hello world, we’d like you to meet somebody by the name of Michael Bay, aka Master Of Earth-Shaking Movie Explosions. A cheetah never changes its spots, and Michael Bay is a ‘splosion-loving movie version of that springy feline.
What If It Does? Bay decides to clear up rumours that he was born after a comet ploughed into Earth’s atmosphere, and writes his own history on screen, detailing his high school traumas and dreams of attending Wesleyan Uni.
Then decides it’s really boring without anything blowing up, so goes the ‘inspired by a true story’ route, casting himself as a new age vigilante. With guns. And explosions. And flags. That are on fire.