Wish You Were Here
Well, it kicks the arse clean off Center Parcs for a woodland getaway. Instead of hiring rickety bikes and trying to reserve permanently booked tennis courts, you can relax by listening to the angelic Elves sing folk tales while staring at Cate Blanchett’s lovely face?

Holiday From Hell
Blanchett’s Elvish queen is a bit intense, and may well turn blue and read your mind. And on day eight, when you’re down to T-shirts with smug slogans, being surrounded by immaculate Elves will make you feel distinctly unwashed. Plus, there's that weird Nazgul family thundering about on undead horses at all hours...