Alfred Hitchcock

Suggested By: Kim Chillout Lawther (Facebook)

Past Form: Sure he's more passed on than past form, but who wouldn't love to see the master of suspense as the master of ceremonies? Hitchcock was an erudite, commanding presence, so he could work as a host. Might need a medium, though…

Show Highlights: Taking over every element of the show, the consummate professional also decides to scare the audience occasional, while revealing that all the women who escort winners off stage are actually blokes in dresses with mother issues.

And we're sure he'd find some way to cameo in speeches and montages the way he does in his movies.

Sample Speech: "A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it."

Ricky Gervais

Suggested By: Toby Hone (Facebook)

Past Form: He's just been given the Golden Globes after killing during presenting segments at the Emmys. With a cutting wit and self-mocking form, he'd liven up the event no end.

Show Highlights: The running gag of fake animosity between Gervais and US Office star Steve Carell could meet its natural peak with a two-hour-long staring competition. Well, anything's better than another montage about how good comedy films have been this year.

And talking of montages, how about Ricky sneaks one in about how successful his films have been? It's funny because it's not true.

If it all goes wrong, at least he can do the dance...

Sample Speech: "Some people are intimidated when talking to large numbers of people in an entertaining way. Not me."

Next: Steve Carell, Wall-E