25 Movie Lines You Must Never Quote

Annoying film phrases that aren't funny anymore...

There's nothing wrong with seeing a film packed with catchphrases, then going round for a couple of weeks, repeating them to your mates.

It's one of the joys of cinema. But, be warned, there is a definite cut-off point. Two weeks after strolling out of the cinema, yes. Two years after watching the DVD - definitely no.

Below is a handy ticklist of the movie quotes you shouldn't be spouting, especially not if you're standing anywhere near us.
 

"Gosh!" Jon Heder Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Movie Context: Anytime Napoleon has to do something he doesn’t like, he spouts this one - complete with breathy gasp and face frown.

Who’s Most Likely To Quote It: The neighbourhood Emo, when you tell him to stop cutting himself on your lawn.

Fitting Comeback: “I’ll give you something to be emotional about” followed by a karate chop to the throat.


 

"Zip It" Mike Myers Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Movie Context: Dr. Evil talking to teenage son, Scott. This one is occassionally made more annoying by elaborations - www.zipit.com - and hand gestures.

Who’s Most Likely To Quote It: That smug business type who just cut in line at the coffee shop.

Fitting Comeback: Grab their hand as they make the ‘zip it’ gesture, and break all their fingers.

 
Next: Scarface, Jerry Maguire

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Comments

    • Henriksen86

      Jun 10th 2009, 11:29

      Where is those anoying quotes from The Dark Knight? Why so serious and lets put a smile on that face. It just sounds stupid coming out of the mouth of a 13-year old who thinks the dark knight is the best film evarz!

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    • BigAndyT

      Jun 10th 2009, 12:41

      Anyone who thinks impersonating austin powers is still funny "groovy baby" never was funny, and never will be, shut up you dick!

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    • irishbrian

      Jun 10th 2009, 13:40

      Gotta say, bigandyt i cannot agree more, bunch of knob jockeys.

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    • KerrAvon

      Jun 10th 2009, 13:44

      I think you'll find show me the money is still a good one and is usually shouted by agents and whatnot after closing a deal. At least arnie quotes will never go out of fashion, right? Wrong!

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    • scabo33

      Jun 10th 2009, 16:23

      Scarface and Jeryy Maguire are still as funny as ever! :)

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    • bont91

      Jun 10th 2009, 18:36

      "hes james cameron he can do what he likes" your nose is looking a bit brown there TF

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    • AKRajala

      Jun 10th 2009, 18:55

      As much as I love Star Wars... what about the million it spawned: "Luke, I am your father." (not even an accurate quote!) "Use the force." and on and on

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    • alowe

      Jun 10th 2009, 19:40

      Irony, bont! :)

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    • VigilantEagle

      Jun 10th 2009, 20:28

      Alright what films can we quote? "I'm waiting to be impressched!" (Sean Connery style)

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    • ashley.russell

      Jun 10th 2009, 22:52

      you can always, always quote Office Space

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    • Padman

      Jun 11th 2009, 2:07

      Ah, I think "Game over, man!" should always be allowed for the pure fact that it allows you to pick out people who have watched Aliens properly/enough times to appreciate and know the characters outside of Ripley. I'm lucky in having older brothers, meaning that my friends and I had been calling dibs on who wanted to be Hicks, Hudson, Frost, Drake, Apone etc as far back as primary school games.

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    • beeblue

      Jun 11th 2009, 10:32

      i was a bartender once. we served pabst blue ribbon. a lot of people have seen "blue velvet". and let me tell you, "f**k heineken" gets really old....

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    • huntjo1

      Jun 11th 2009, 19:15

      The actual line is, 'The question is do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk!' The line is always mis-quoted but I expected better tut tut tut! haha

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    • lfrost

      Jun 11th 2009, 20:32

      You had me at anything from Jerry McGuire! And yes only Arnie should quote Arnie!

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    • dgoodswen

      Jun 11th 2009, 23:00

      huntjo1 we wrote that because that's what people say when they quote it - we know it's a misquote :)

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    • thejonner

      Jun 12th 2009, 9:51

      Has Charlie Brooker started working for Total Film?

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    • WileyWasabi

      Jun 12th 2009, 15:41

      I dated a guy a few years ago who was still impersonating Pauly Shore...gee, wonder why that relationship didn't work out.

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    • xynobis

      Jun 13th 2009, 6:37

      that.. was a good bit.

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    • crowbar990

      Jun 14th 2009, 20:38

      brual total film, really really bad, not a funny or original 1 on the list, and your comebacks sound like something out of nuts or loaded, this was a good site once

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    • wolfgirl

      Jun 15th 2009, 11:07

      When 'Shrek' (2001) came out, Donkey quotes/impressions got SOOOOO old...

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    • pimpernel

      Jun 15th 2009, 22:03

      What about, "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" from Life of Brian? I say that way too oft- I mean other people do, yeah...

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    • davebaxter1989

      Jun 21st 2009, 0:59

      Can't believe you put Anchorman, Total Film you and me are done professionally. That was my clever way of saying that celebrity outburst quotes have a shelf life of less than a week. But really your just jealous of the Anchorman guy.

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    • DanzierRebirth

      Jul 26th 2009, 10:17

      I thought this was right on the money. There are more quotes that should never be said, but its ten in the morning and I can't be arsed to think about them. And as for anchorman being funny? In my opinion people who find Anchorman funny, also find Borat, Ali G and Bruno funny and I have one conclusion about them = One Brain Cell

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    • ManMadeMonkey

      Oct 27th 2009, 0:02

      Whilst I've got to agree with most, even now me and my friends can't stop quoting Anchorman. It IS the most quotable film ever and I don't believe it will ever get old.

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    • Jkaltz11

      Oct 29th 2009, 7:52

      This isn't an annoying quote or a commonly uttered one but it is the best xD. " The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he didn't exist and likle that p**f... hes gone! Usual Suspects :D

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