27 Actors Who Can't Act

The mannered, the wooden and the weird

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    • stevolbauer

      Jul 12th 2010, 11:26

      Even if Ewen McGregor doesnt act anymore, he is unbelievable in Trainspotting and many more. And Mark Wahlberg, did you even watch The Departed

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    • JoWareham

      Jul 12th 2010, 11:37

      Where's Andie MacDowell, never in a succession of films (i.e. every one she's ever been in) has an actress been as terrible. So bad in fact that L'oreal dubbed her speaking voice.

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    • davewadam

      Jul 12th 2010, 11:43

      the bit about kristen stewart is possibly the coldest thing I've ever heard about an actor. brilliant!!

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    • Desperation

      Jul 12th 2010, 11:49

      McGregor has done some excellent performances, he just doesn't do them often enough. Marky Mark was brilliant in The Departed, but pants in everything else. All the rest are pretty much spot on. Harsh, but fair.

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    • DonisFun

      Jul 12th 2010, 12:23

      What..Nooo! hahaha Brilliant!

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    • totalfilmblows

      Jul 12th 2010, 12:33

      As is often the case with your terrible magazine, you take what has the potential to be a funny and entertaining and spoil it by imbuing the articles with a false sense of authority and broad generalisations. Putting Sandler on the list is by and large irrelevant given that the vast majority of his work is slapstick/impressionistic comedy and the few serious roles he has been in have generally, with the exception of projects which were never going to work to begin with ie The Longest Yard, been quite good (Funny People). Your simplistic summaries of Clive Owen and Mark Wahlberg's acting is little more than embarrassing and I can't help but feel that you have solely put Scarlett Johansen in this list for the sake of controversy.

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    • totalfilmblows

      Jul 12th 2010, 12:34

      *funny and entertaining piece

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    • AhmShere

      Jul 12th 2010, 13:16

      What about Jim Carrey? Surely if Adam Sandler gets a place on the list for playing himself, then it stands to reason Carrey should too. Also, I actually enjoyed The Island with Ewan McGregor. Of course, it's not as amazing as Trainspotting but it's Ewan.

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    • giovannisorta

      Jul 12th 2010, 13:43

      If your trying to emphasis how bad of an actress Scarlet Johansen is, its counter productive showing her in a scene with Johathon Rhys Mehyers[sic]. I'd ask why he's absent from this list, but it's fairly obvious, noone likes him

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    • ScottRoss718

      Jul 12th 2010, 13:48

      How does Sam Worthington not make this list?

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    • Scannain

      Jul 12th 2010, 13:54

      Wait a minute...Ewan McGregor and Clive Owen are included yet Vin Diesel and Casper van Dien are left out? As is Denise Richards? For the record Kristen Stewart was good in Adventureland.

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    • TweetTiger

      Jul 12th 2010, 13:59

      No, Kevin Costner /didn't/ invent the centrifuge device that'll hopefully clean up the Gulf, his brother did; he has invested heavily in Ocean Therapy Solutions, though. Sheesh! Et tu, Total Film?

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    • TweetTiger

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:04

      What Josh Hartnett should get a pass for is Lucky Number Slevin. Awesome!

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    • TheThing

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:20

      "meteoric rise to stardom" - argh, this phrase! You're far from the only people to use it, but it makes no frickin' sense. Assuming a perspective we pretty much all share, that we live on Planet Earth, what is it that characterises the behaviour of meteors? Ah yes, FALLING.

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    • madrox

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:44

      you're forgetting Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, Owen Wilson , Kirsten Dunst and so many others...

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    • Lindz28

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:46

      Very funny list, and mostly true, though I do think Kristen Stewart is a good actress its just the part of Bella that makes her seem whiny and annoying. ALso I know you write for blokes mostly but could us women have a "just look at him" for Keanu and Marky Mark please??

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    • Niksterino

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:50

      Some terrible choices on this list: - Clive Owen (brilliant in Children of Men, if that's not acting, I'm not sure what is, really) - Nicolas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas, Adaptation, Moonstruck, Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona, Bad Lieutenant... all great performances, it's time to forget The Wicker Man) - Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation) - Adam Sandler (great in Funny People and Punch-Drunk Love) - Mark Wahlberg (The Departed, Boogie Nights, Three Kings) Also: where the hell's Roger Moore?

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    • chrisb1983

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:57

      Chris O'Donnell will never win an oscar but he isn't that bad. He did solid work on Grey's Anatomy

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    • markmilham

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:57

      great fun...love it... on the flipside, Id love to see a total film run down of actors who could/have save any film from being utter pap...my nomination would be Brendan Gleeson...

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    • markmilham

      Jul 12th 2010, 14:58

      And I think Vin Diesel is a glaring oversight...I would swap Mcgregor for Diesel...

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    • higgins78

      Jul 12th 2010, 15:14

      Too many people here are confusing good acting with good movies. Nicolas Cage (Moonstruck) and Scarlet Johansson (Lost in Translation) were good movies not because of said actors but other more crucial factors, script and mood mainly. Lets though not blame these "pretty boy/girls" for there performances which should be accepted as much as we should the people who hire them.

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    • Ichi1

      Jul 12th 2010, 16:15

      How can you add Clive Owen to this list for playing the same role over and over, yet leave off the Apatow crew? Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, and Jonha Hill always play the same exact character. Seriously, the Seth Rogen you saw in his last movie is the same exact Rogan you got on Freaks and Geeks...and everything in between.

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    • graverobber666

      Jul 12th 2010, 16:48

      Missing: Jonah Hill, Haley Joel Osmond, Dakota Fanning, the entire cast (sans Jackie Earl Haley) of the Nightmare on Elm Street remake and ESPECIALLY Megan Fox! Also, get lovely Ewan off this list! Plus Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas? Jessica Alba in The Killer Inside Me? And I know he may be one of the men responsible for killing Star Wars but even Hayden Christensen was good in Shattered Glass!

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    • JG2196

      Jul 12th 2010, 17:38

      Nic Cage... Kick-a*s? Bad Lieutenant? really?...

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    • JG2196

      Jul 12th 2010, 17:40

      Scarlett Johansson? Lost In Translation! Sorry but I strongly disagree with this list

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    • oshman5

      Jul 12th 2010, 17:50

      david caruso. feckin hilarious

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    • Hadouken76

      Jul 12th 2010, 17:52

      aww too many to mention, Gwyneth Paltrow phones in every movies and won an Oscar because of her Hollywood family, Keira Knightly sounds like the young ones chant "ra ra ra we gonna smash the oiks" in every movie, Russell Brand cant even play Russell Brand, Ricky Gervias, even his mate (the nations favourite creepy uncle Jonathan Ross) said that when Gervias uses twitter its still 139 more characters than hes ever used and Amber Heard, who is just meat in a bikini

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    • mustangphil

      Jul 12th 2010, 20:08

      Phew!!! I clicked from no.16 to 15 and all I saw was a picture of Michael Keaton's head. I thought you guys had gone nuts for a minute there! My bad

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    • josephdevalle

      Jul 12th 2010, 20:42

      Don't agree about wahlberg one bit!

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    • MikeyRix

      Jul 12th 2010, 21:26

      Stewart, yes. Radcliffe - the first two films? More like every Harry Potter film, except for that one bit in the latest one where he drinks some liquid and goes quite funny (not alcohol, unfortunately). Reeves, Wahlberg, Cage...yes. Christensen, perhaps. But you forgot Sam Worthington!! He's possibly the most chronic rising actor I've ever seen. What the hell, ladies and gentlemen.

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    • MikeyRix

      Jul 12th 2010, 21:26

      And Hugh Grant too - if ever there was a one-trick pony he is it.

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    • Ali1748

      Jul 13th 2010, 5:44

      Jessica Alba.

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    • durden

      Jul 13th 2010, 13:37

      this is the most idiotic article ever to appear in this magazine.half of the actors on that list can really act!and you did leave out quite a few...sorry but this piece was just silly

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    • Hadouken76

      Jul 13th 2010, 14:57

      TF is forgetting they have to interview some of these non-actors some time in the future...

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    • gregbreen1

      Jul 13th 2010, 16:09

      27 places and no room for Arnie...WHAAAAAAATTTT???

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    • whereistheline

      Jul 13th 2010, 17:07

      Josh Hartnett can act, Lucky Number Slevin, Mozart and the Whale, O, Black Hawk Down and The Faculty all brill films and Hartnett is awesome in all of them.

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    • mcghater

      Jul 13th 2010, 18:28

      lokks like someone.............(shades on)..........just got TF'd....AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

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    • Richard1979

      Jul 13th 2010, 19:00

      Melanie Griffith, Something Wild, boobs out. Nuff said.

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    • Richard1979

      Jul 13th 2010, 19:16

      Hayden Christensen sucks more than a Dyson Hoover convention.

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    • rdowb

      Jul 13th 2010, 19:44

      The Keanu Reeves Equation Character Confusion = Thematic Success

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    • JohnJDuffy

      Jul 14th 2010, 0:04

      Another reason why I don't buy your magazine anymore or visit your site...oh wait

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    • Faers

      Jul 14th 2010, 1:47

      Without doubt - the worst list from any magazine I have ever read! I was shocked by some of the names on this list: Ewan, Costner, Cage, The Stath - this list is full of fine, charismatic actors! But, I'll give you Orlando and Hayden. I do wonder why I bother wasting my time with this website. This could have been so simply (and better) by making it a top 10 (instead of 27, 13, 57, or whatever stupid number you always do) and making the list the 10 most wooden performances instead of Actors My complaints are numerous, so I'll stop now before this turns into an essay. Another job done badly TF.

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    • Hadouken76

      Jul 14th 2010, 13:46

      chill out ppl its only a bit of fun! If you dont like it then sod off to Sight and Sound i'm sure thier discatation on Uzbek cinema will be pant-wettingly enthralling! :D

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    • KingofSpain

      Jul 14th 2010, 15:10

      How CSI: Miami became the most internationally successful of the 3 CSI's is beyond me. On second thoughts ... of course, it gets dubbed!

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    • tallaght24

      Jul 15th 2010, 12:43

      There are four Baldwin brothers Total Film...NOT 3. And no I don't mean Adam Baldwin from Serenity as I am aware he is no relation. The four are Alec Baldwin (Beetlejuice), Daniel Baldwin (Vampires), William Baldwin (Backdraft) and Stephen Baldwin (..Umm..from something).

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    • metalgatesolid

      Jul 15th 2010, 21:29

      Mark Wahlbergs performance in The Happening surly must go down as the greatest case of "I dont care" acting ever. Just look at the scene in the old womans house when she accuses him of wanting to kill her...Priceless. now the little git who destroyed Darth Vader should be black listed against ever acting again. For Cage i have one film name...FACE/OFF.

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    • Pekkala

      Jul 16th 2010, 22:05

      You included Kristen Stewart, what about Rob Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Van Diesel. They super stink too. Not too mention Christian Bale, Sam Worthington and the guy from Juno and the Scott Pilgrim movie.

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    • Pekkala

      Jul 16th 2010, 22:13

      You included Kristen Stewart and you forgot her helpers and worse actors, Rob Pattinson, Taylor Lautner. There is also missing Van Diesel and the guy from Scott Pilgrim. By the way is OK for Kate Beckinsale not to be a good actress because how she looks but Kristen simply stinks since she is not that beautiful. Pretty sexist if you ask me.

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    • ebrown2112

      Jul 17th 2010, 12:04

      Ever seen Scarlett in "Girl with a Pearl Earring?" Keanu in "Permanent Record," "My Own Private Idaho," "River's Edge," or "The Prince of Pennsylvania?" Those who saw Daniel Radcliffe in Equus didn't think he "couldn't act." Costner- what about "No Way Out," A Perfect World," "Field of Dreams?" And what the hell is Nicolas Cage doing on this list? I'm not entirely convinced you know what acting is.

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    • robbie111

      Jul 20th 2010, 16:30

      dont know if its been metioned, but where is jessica biel in this list.

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    • Dieselfeet

      Jul 23rd 2010, 4:43

      Where's Jim Carrey (my own personal pet hate) and Andi McDowell

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    • TheDMeister

      Jul 24th 2010, 1:27

      Kristen Stewart? Nothing to complain about really, she plays the same character pretty much. Hayden Christensen however cannot be forgiven, although let's not forget the idiot who cast him; Mr. George Lucas. Christensen was the worst thing to happen to Star Wars; Jar Jar Binks wasn't even that bad.

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    • TazzaWazza

      Jul 25th 2010, 16:03

      Where's Ben Affleck???

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    • alwaysthrash09

      Jul 29th 2010, 6:45

      The fact that you neglected to include Martin Lawrence is inexcusable.

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    • Faers

      Jul 30th 2010, 2:26

      Hadouken76 - isn't comment 43 a bit of contradiction to 34? I mean, if it is just a bit of fun, why would TF be worried about getting interviews from this lot in the future?

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    • toby101

      Aug 2nd 2010, 16:08

      Watching that clip,who in the world can possibly care how bad of an actress Jessica Alba is? No-one I tell you, No-one.

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    • taker247

      Aug 4th 2010, 20:45

      where is will ferrel or ben stiller or owen wilson how can these people call themself's actors what a joke these are

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    • Matt164

      Aug 8th 2010, 18:27

      what the hell you put on mark walberg and left out megan fox - fit yes but a c**p actor

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    • sfitchy

      Aug 30th 2010, 18:38

      Why do people keep allowing Jennifer Lopez to be in films........she is beyond awful

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    • EddieHitler

      Oct 15th 2010, 10:38

      I'm glad Arnold and Sly were left off. I'd have had to come and roundhouse your asses if they were!

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    • ilikescifi

      Jul 12th 2011, 14:48

      ScottRoss718 ha ha that's so true. worthington can't act s**t.

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    • daston498

      Sep 9th 2011, 0:13

      Nick Cage? ever seen bad lieutenant? and aye Marky is the best thing in the The Departed, and thats saying something. Aaaand i have to put it out there, Johnny Depp's performance and more or less all the same. Drunk. Always the performance of an undirected man and it got old after the first pirates

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    • huberthammack

      Jul 8th 2012, 2:02

      Kate Beckinsale can't act? What the f**k is this site smoking? It's obvious this site has only seen Kate Beckinsale in films like Underworld, Pearl Harbor, and Van Helsing. Here are a list of film that proves that Kate Beckinsale is a very good actress, who either makes too many poor choices or simply has a bad agent. - Much Ado About Nothing - Emma - Haunted - Cold Comfort Farm - Last Days of Disco - Serendipity - Nothing But the Truth

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    • huberthammack

      Jul 8th 2012, 2:03

      I might also add Snow Angels, Winged Creatures, and the future Trials of Cate McCullough with Nolte and Cromwell.

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    • huberthammack

      Jul 8th 2012, 2:08

      Come to think of it, this entire list is c**p. Not only does it include actors who can act, but it doesn't include some of the worst actors to come through Hollywood. Megan Fox, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Ben Stiller, and Sam Worthington to name a few. How the hell can you put people like Kate Beckinsale, Ewan McGregor, and Nick Nolte on this list, and not those people.

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    • emmaayres

      Apr 29th 2013, 15:39

      Jesus!! Most of these actors can actor thats why they're are FAMOUS!!

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    • willkinsayder

      Jul 12th 2013, 10:21

      Hollywood has a long tradition of non-acting actors. Bogart never acted. John Wayne couldn't act his way out of a cardboard corral. Marilyn Monroe was an even worse actress than Scar-Jo. It didn't matter, though. The studios built them up into iconic stars, and people flocked to the movies to see THEM.

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    • FBcPitt

      Sep 13th 2013, 7:24

      where was vin diesel?

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    • zyggymaroo

      Feb 18th 2014, 12:46

      the combination of kristen stewarts wooden acting and the over the top music has made my day

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