Lazily reheating an old franchise for a 'new audience' is one of Hollywood's most hated habits.
Google 'remake' and you'll be showered with a torrent of purist eye-rolling and fanboy froth.
But there are plenty of dodgy, dated, obscure and undercooked movies that could really, really benefit from a reboot up the arse. Here's our countdown...
27. Outland (1981)
The film: A High Noon-style western in space, with Sean Connery’s marshal the only man interested in stopping lethal drug-dealing on the corrupt mining colony of Io.
Why it needs remaking: Because the premise is strong and the original just missed the mark. Done right, it’s a dirty, atmospheric thriller with the future-is-old sci-fi stuff in the background.
It needs a stubborn lead who can shoulder the whole movie – Clive Owen? – and a director who’ll look past all the space stuff and concentrate on nailing the macho plot. Bring on Michael Mann.
26. Jason & The Argonauts (1963)
The film: Sword and sandal epic following the hero of the Greek legend, fighting skeletons and harpies while searching for the golden fleece.
Why it needs remaking: Yeah yeah, the Clash Of The Titans rework is already underway, but who wants a mechanical owl when you can have an army of skeletons?
Updating – but staying true to – the incredible stop-motion of Ray Harryhausen is the draw here. Tim Burton is the sensible call – super-clean CG is out, and Burton has the style and reverence to get it done properly.
25. The Changeling (1980)
The film: A composer moves to a creepy Victorian house in Seattle following the deaths of his wife and daughter, only to discover that he isn’t alone.
Why it needs remaking: It’s an intelligent and subtle ghost story, all atmosphere and creaky stairs - something a Hollywood reduced to making One Missed Call could really use.
Shout from leftfield – Cronenberg to direct (he’d feed off the morbid loneliness) with Viggo Mortensen subdued but heartbroken in the lead.
Comments
grapes
Jul 27th 2009, 16:37
Hey, you know what needs to be remade? NONE OF THESE MOVIES.
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ClockworkOwen17
Jul 27th 2009, 17:10
Gotta agree with you here grapes :) Especially leave alone Night of the Living Dead and Duel.
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ThrashGordon
Jul 27th 2009, 20:37
WRONG ^^^^^^^^ The Keep deserves another chance.
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Ali1748
Jul 27th 2009, 20:51
I don't know I reckon Jason And The Argonauts and Dunne could do with remakes. The original Jason And The Argonauts is a classic and there is nothing wrong with it however it is very dated now.
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Gumbogray
Jul 27th 2009, 21:09
Please dont make remakes, make ORIGINALS!
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Gladiatory2k
Jul 28th 2009, 1:11
Actually, I want a redo of Monster Squad with all of the slashers teaming up in a Rob Zombie flick. Jason, Michael, Freddy, and Captain Spaulding as the lead heavy.....box office gold. hehe
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hamsolo77
Jul 28th 2009, 12:07
Brilliant... now we have film critics actually asking for remakes, not doubt any review (if the films actually happened) would criticise the makers for a lack of originality. No wonder critics are dropping like flies!
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Desperation
Jul 28th 2009, 12:16
I cannot believe that a "respectable" film magazine, staffed by people who are supposed to know a thing or two about movies, are actually advocating remakes of already top-quality films. Some of those films in the list seem to be films that had a great premise, but poor execution. That's fair enough, i have no problem with remaking those. But you've listed some excellent movies there, which still stand the test of time and should never, ever, be remade.
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chesh
Jul 28th 2009, 12:24
I can´t believe you´re suggesting remaking Outland. My favourite all time line comes from that film...... "My men? My men are schitt". (with added Connery phonetics)
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scabo33
Jul 28th 2009, 18:39
Imagine Micheal Bay directing The Towering Inferno! The building would be destryoed in the openeing credits!
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Nealsreviews1
Jul 29th 2009, 19:20
I remember watching Night Of The Comet as a kid. It was always on HBO late at night. It scared back then & is quite a cult classic I can see it being remade.
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Nealsreviews1
Jul 29th 2009, 19:28
I can not really see Red Dawn being remade it is such a good movie as is. Who would they cast now for a remake? The original cast worked perfectly.
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Nealsreviews1
Jul 29th 2009, 19:33
It would be nice to see Duel being revamped into modern day. It was so suspenseful back then it would be great to see it brought to today's generation. I can see Kurt Russell playing the lead trying to escape the truck.
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BlastedMonkey
Jul 30th 2009, 7:55
Dune has already been remade along with two sequels, HBO or Sci-FI channel created a mini series which faithfully recreated the Dune universe. Though the effects were not fantastic, they were far better than the original film version but with better acting and no Sting. I also agree with others, most films that have been remade haven't been necessarily better than the originals, Planet of the Apes springs to mind.
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regularguytoo
Jul 30th 2009, 9:42
Rarely do remakes work - especially if done as big bang blockbuster - but there are some classics that could do with a subtle reworking . Rebel Without A Cause was a stunner in it's time , but creaks now [ method acting = hamming & gurning ] - and now the subtexts could be more openly explored . The relationship & sexual tension [ not to mention racial divides ] between Dean & De Mineo were a complete no - no in the 50's .
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Serrano
Aug 1st 2009, 13:56
Danger: Diabolik would be a good remake, it'd make people believe it's an original idea and would be made great with a director like Tarantino
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Serrano
Aug 1st 2009, 13:57
Some of these movies are timeless, especially Duel and The Keep
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booradley
Aug 4th 2009, 1:57
Gotta agree with serrano; Duel is timeless. Ok it was made for the small screen and special effects were not numerous but it was tight, suspenseful storytelling, great camera work, and weaver--it was dennis weaver wasn't it?--was great. Who in their right mind would want to later be compared to Spielberg even though it was very early in his career? Duel is relatively short which was good because alot of middle aged hearts would never have withstood spielberg's would be longer version. But what are going to add to pad it--showing the truck driver? Explaining the motive? More likely ruining it. Don't mess with it; let it stand.
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whereistheline
Aug 4th 2009, 14:26
The thing that makes these films good is that they are dated and classics, you can appreciate the effort that went into making them. Jason and the Argonauts is a fantastic film and I think remaking it would be an insult to Harryhausen. Films don't constantly need remaking, it's bad enough they're remaking Robocop and Total Recall, films that aren't even that old! What happened to making original stories and taking some risks...
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WillShelmerdine
Nov 4th 2009, 12:28
I agree that films don't constantly need remaking, but occasionally the planets align and some good comes of it. Dawn of the Dead, for instance, works fine and does no damage to the original. There are certainly two sides to the coin; I agree that Westworld could do with a rework, and on rewatching Total Recall recently I thought a remake might be quite timely. But then again in the cases of Jason and the Argonauts, Night of the Living Dead, Duel, etc, I'd argue the other way. The classics should be treated with respect. Considering the likes of 1984; would you even consider it a remake? Surely it would have to be more referential to the book than previous films, so is it not just another adaptation? In my opinion, re-makes are fine when used responsibly, but currently the market is saturated and I'm as sick of them as everybody else.
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Dtax69
Nov 6th 2009, 15:01
27 movies that should be re-made & no mention of Wolfen????
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Agent69
Nov 9th 2009, 20:21
I love your ideas. Total Film should totally start its own production company. LOL
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Jkaltz11
Nov 11th 2009, 16:02
"M" needs to be remade!
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Jetblack927
Nov 13th 2009, 13:28
Red Dawn is being remade, they're shooting it in Detroit. It's the Chinese instead of the Russians this time...
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jedijunkie
Dec 22nd 2009, 18:45
I agree that there are a few genuine classics in there which should be left alone but there are a few, like 1984, that completely miss the point or because of the era in which they were made, Lost Weekend, had to gloss over their more torrid issues and so, giving them a more enlightened/desensitized treatment would allow them to deal with their respective issues more directly so with that in mind they should at least have a fresh look at Breakfast at Tiffany's (minus Mickey Rooney's racist Japanese caricature.
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jedijunkie
Dec 22nd 2009, 18:45
I agree that there are a few genuine classics in there which should be left alone but there are a few, like 1984, that completely miss the point or because of the era in which they were made, Lost Weekend, had to gloss over their more torrid issues and so, giving them a more enlightened/desensitized treatment would allow them to deal with their respective issues more directly so with that in mind they should at least have a fresh look at Breakfast at Tiffany's (minus Mickey Rooney's racist Japanese caricature.
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