Silly Jokes 1

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Shelby.

Shelby who?

 Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes, Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes!
-The Pursuit Of Happyness



Do you see those two weevils doctor?

I do.

Which would choose?

Neither. There is not a scrap a difference between them. They are the same species of curculio.

If you had to choose. If you were forced to make a choice. If there was no other response...

Well then if your going to push me, I would choose the right hand weevil. It has significant advantage in both length and breadth.

There! I have you! You're completely dished! Do you not know that in the service, one must always choose the lesser of two weevils!
- Master And Commander



What do you call a blind dinosaur?

I don't know.

A Do-you-think-he-saurus.

What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?

You got me.

A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex.
- Jurassic Park



What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!
- Good Morning Vietnam



Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.  He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks...

Can you put me up for the night?
-The Crow



Kermit: Where did you learn to drive?

Fozzie: I took a correspondence course.
-The Muppet Movie

Next: Silly Jokes 2