One-liners

I'll probably have to give my parents less money. It'll kill my father. He's not gonna be able to get as good a seat in the synagogue. He'll be in the back, away from God, far from the action.
- Manhattan



Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions."
- Annie Hall



You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called Fuck You. It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground.
- So I Married An Axe Murderer



I am sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight, and Mrs. Claypool's cheques will probably come back to her in the morning.
- A Night At The Opera



I didn't know they had food in Ethiopia. This will be a quick meal. I'll order two empty plates and we can leave.
- When Harry Met Sally



You know what? This crocodile's like O.J. Simpson. He messed up when he killed that white woman.
- Primeval



I work harder than God. If He had hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday.
- Keeping The Faith



Will you look at that! Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!
- Some Like It Hot
 

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