30 Ways To Improve The Movies

Creating an experience not even Uwe Boll can balls-up

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Comments

    • Kajsmir

      Aug 9th 2010, 11:33

      absolutely agree :)

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    • ChrisWootton

      Aug 9th 2010, 13:45

      Did you have a bad experience at the flicks this weekend? Wholeheartedly agree with all the points. I wanted to see splice this weekend but already its off most of the cinemas in the world after only a couple of weeks.. Twilight, however, was still on 2 screens!... Wha?

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    • durden

      Aug 9th 2010, 14:12

      yep,sounds fair!

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    • mingfilm

      Aug 9th 2010, 14:31

      Movie rentals and home theaters are killing the movie-going experience - everyone acts like they're sitting around the boob tube at home. It's not pot-luck dinner night, it's a MOVIE!!!

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    • stevolbauer

      Aug 9th 2010, 15:06

      Great feature. There are ways Ive found of getting around all the problems with cinemas. The cinema beside my school has a Boots right beside it so cheap drinks, your sorted. Also half days on wedensdays means the cinema is pretty much empty so good choice of seats, no yappin kids etc. Also that cinema has an "over 18s only screenings", pity Im still 16. But intermissions, shorts and education on films are things that need to be sorted out.

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    • fortunesfool

      Aug 9th 2010, 17:10

      Screen directors before giving them projects. If you plan on shooting a whole film using a hand held camera and then editing it together faster than you can make sense of it in order to hide the fact that you don't understand the craft. You don't get to make a film! You wouldn't give a builder 50 grand to build an extension just cause he has some bricks. Don't give someone 50 million to make a film just because he's made a few music videos.

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    • Jenzy

      Aug 9th 2010, 17:30

      31. Get David Fincher to direct everything. That's guaranteed quality and intelligence right there...

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    • Jenzy

      Aug 9th 2010, 17:32

      31. Get David Fincher to direct everything. That's guaranteed quality right there...

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    • Hadouken76

      Aug 9th 2010, 21:05

      32.Ban all Cadburys Adverts cos they taking freakin ages... Yes very good, monkey on Drums, do we have to hear WHOLE song? Racing airport vehicles...4 minutes? Really you spoil us! Enough with the spinning flake lady! As the philosopher Simpson once said "Start the movie!"

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    • matty2392

      Aug 9th 2010, 23:00

      YEAHH MORE HELICOPTERS!!! and lower the prices of everything, and plus get more smaller films shown for example my local just gets every big release and never gets films like moon and other low budget films

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    • JohnJDuffy

      Aug 9th 2010, 23:51

      non of these are happening in liverpool

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    • BobbyLupo

      Aug 10th 2010, 12:08

      People checking text messages is one thing that really p**ses me off. They may think it's OK because it doesn't make a noise but the glare is seriously distracting. /Rant over. Most of these problems can be solved by supporting your local art house. The one near me shows the latest blockbusters a few weeks down the line with a more discerning audience. Plus you don't have to pay over the odds for snacks and you're helping to support a worthier cause than the local megaplex.

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    • takhisis1

      Aug 10th 2010, 12:08

      Agree with a lot of what you are saying particularly adult only showings. Perfect example for my birthday a few years back i went to Spiderman 2 at the cinema at 10pm but still had to suffer moaning 5 year old kids. Now I rarely go except to the IMAX now that is value for money compared to the local multiplex

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    • narmour1

      Aug 10th 2010, 12:19

      All stirling ideas but unfortunately cinemas are only going to go with initiatives which make them money... that's what it's all about. So if your intelligent art house film noir leaves the cinema after a week and Twilight is clogging up the screens 3 months after coming out, don't blame the cinema, blame the brainless teenage Emo idiots propping up this bland cine-crime.

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    • narmour1

      Aug 10th 2010, 12:21

      I do however whole heartedly agree with the removal / execution of people who can't shut up in a movie. There should be cinema bouncers who have a panel of red buttons attached to ejector seats which remove these offenders.

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    • Venus

      Aug 10th 2010, 17:55

      I wholeheartedly agree with everything in this article. I study film at university and it gets a little tedious when you tell people what you study and they basically fob you off saying it's a doss course and can't seem to comprehend me ever getting a job at the end of it.

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    • Smokinator

      Aug 11th 2010, 15:30

      i think that like the R certificate in america, 15's should be available to watch in the cinema for under 15's aslong as they have there paraent with them. there are so many films that ive had to wait for over five months to watch when they come out on dvd, while friends brag about illegilly sneaking into a screening, which i dont wanna do. i hate pirating ands will never watch one, but not being able to watchthings like gran torino or date night is flipping annoying, just because they might use the f word a couple of times, which is no where near a s bad as some of the stuff i hear at my school

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    • ascohen01

      Aug 12th 2010, 12:52

      Venus - I studied Film at University - And unfortunately, people are right. It is pretty much a doss course and you'll have real trouble getting anywhere with it when you've finished - Sorry, but its true

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    • pinkdegu

      Aug 12th 2010, 18:03

      Come on kids. There's always a way round most of those things. Like cheap day tuesdays at Vue. We pay £5 for 2 of us every other Tuesday and see some awesome stuff. However, when I went to see Twilight (yep shoot me), it was only shown in one screen. We struggled also to get decent time slots for Toy Story. Especially since I would rather get raped by the evil monkey than pay an extra £3 to watch it in 3D with hundreds of screaming snotty kids. Let's have over 18 screenings. At a decent hour. Not at 10pm on a worknight.

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    • pinkdegu

      Aug 12th 2010, 18:15

      Oh and take a large handbag. And fill it with a bag of sweets from Asda bought for £1 that they charge £4.50 for at the cinema. And a few bottles of water. Saves so much money and nobody ever checks.

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    • koolerking

      Aug 13th 2010, 3:35

      The problem is the cinemas take the p**s with the advertising. You have 30 mins of TV ads thrown at you so no wonder people turn up late, which p**ses of people who turned up on time.

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    • philswales

      Aug 13th 2010, 17:43

      Bring back ushers and usherettes! They act as a deterrent against disturbance, and you've got somebody to complain to when things go wrong. Normally it's like the Marie Celeste in my local Vue when I'm looking for a member of staff.

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    • Selivia

      Aug 13th 2010, 22:03

      A very comprehensive list of our pet peeves at the movies. Just one addition that comes to mind - removing people who turn on their mobile phones every 5 minutes after the mid point of the movie to check the time - if they don't have the time to watch all the movie - don't go in the first place, or if they are bored, leave. This is a more concerted 'turn it off' policy than just talking & texting. Oh! And movies with more than 25% nausea-cam (un-steadycam) footage should come with a warning.

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    • GarthMarenghi

      Aug 13th 2010, 23:37

      Mostly very good ideas. The idea of a quota system sounds far too insular and protectionist for my tastes; if you can't compete fairly, you're not good enough, simple as that. And also, while I like the idea of short films coming back, I think we need to learn that there is a difference between 'new' and 'young'. I'm sure there are plenty of older people with something new to say who hate their jobs and would love to move into films. They deserve that break too, so no new initiative should be so blatantly ageist. But newcomers or not, short films should definitely make a comeback. Experienced, master filmmakers often dabble in commercials or music videos to try out new techniques; instead of that being their only outlet, studios should budget for an accompanying short as a matter of routine. Imagine getting a 10 minute David Fincher masterpiece in front of the latest Ridley Scott movie, or Edgar Wright doing a mini-epic as a lead-in for Sam Raimi's next flick? I'd certainly pay an extra quid for that rather than a 3D gimmick...

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    • Stuntgoat

      Aug 14th 2010, 10:26

      They rerally need to sort the phones issue out. I recently went to see Toy Story 3 and had at least 5 people playing with phones throughout, i asked the one sat near me to turn it off and at the end of the film she had a go at me! I wrote to the cinema to complain and ask what they were going to do about phone use and never got a reply, so the cinemas don't care about your experince as long as they get your money!

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