The Context: Private eye J.J. Gittes (Jack Nicholson) is ushered away from a crime scene in the despairing knowledge an even worse crime is imminent. But some things are unstoppable.
The Line: “Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.”
If It Was Longer: “Unless you want to stop for some egg fried rice?”
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Aug 8th 2011, 8:12
The "If it was longer..." parts are so painfully unfunny and insulting to the classics in here, whoever made this list should not be allowed to work on a film magazine.
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Aug 8th 2011, 9:21
i can not believe that the Italian job is not in this list. 'Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea! Err...'. BEST LAST LINE OF A FILM EVER!!!
Aug 8th 2011, 9:22
Aug 8th 2011, 9:23
Aug 8th 2011, 9:24
Aug 8th 2011, 9:25
Aug 8th 2011, 11:28
I can't believe the Italian Job isn't on the.... oh wait
Aug 8th 2011, 11:50
why didn't you include The World Is Not Enough?
James Bond: "I thought Christmas only comes once a year."
Aug 8th 2011, 12:01
Good list, and not just because three of my favorites made it ("Nobody's perfect," "Beautiful friendship," "Shut up and deal.")
But those awful "if it Was Longer" quips nearly ruined the fun. I made it through by not reading them.
Aug 8th 2011, 15:59
"If it was longer" quotes are perhaps the most unfunny lines I have ever read anywhere on the internet. They actually made me want to punch my monitor in.
Aug 8th 2011, 16:01
Aug 8th 2011, 16:51
You Coulda had Alien..."This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off." Gladiator... "Now we are free. I will see you again, but not yet. Not yet." Princess Bride... "As you wish." Dead Poets..."Thank you, boys. Thank you." Home Alone... "Kevin, what did you do to my room?" To name a few and I also concur...The If It Was Longer part... seriously was that meant to be funny? Or clever or what? It was s**t if you ask me... Adios
Aug 8th 2011, 20:07
Notable omissions..."Theres no hurry you see, we have all the time in world." The only Bond movie to make me well up inside. Platoons "Looking back...."
Aug 8th 2011, 21:02
Top 3: There Will Be Blood, Inglourious Basterds and A Clockwork Orange. Honorable mention to Eyes Wide Shut- "You know, there is something very important we need to do as soon as possible.... f u c k."
Aug 9th 2011, 0:00
Aug 15th 2011, 14:21
Yeah I know you can include everything, but how could you leave out The Italian Job and Heat?! "Told you I'm never going back."
Sep 7th 2011, 21:43
I registered with this site for the sole purpose of stating that whoever wrote the "If It Was Longer" parts of these articles should be fired. Not a single one was funny, most were tasteless, all of them were stupid.
Sep 29th 2012, 11:36
From The Lost Coast Tapes:
"It's not a Bigfoot, it's not a Bigfoot!"
Sep 29th 2012, 14:54
I also registered specifically to say how stupid the "if it was longer" lines were. 0 for 50, 50 strikeouts. Total film, your quality has been in decline for a while now, but this is a new low.
Sep 29th 2012, 19:58
Criminally missing Watchmen's "Rorschach's journal: October 12th 1985... Tonight a comedian died in New York." I also personally loved Animal Kingdom's "It's a crazy f**king world"
Sep 29th 2012, 20:54
The "If It Was Longer" are so pathetically smug and unfunny. Sack the joker who thought he was being clever.
Sep 30th 2012, 3:03
ET's line gets me every time.
Sep 30th 2012, 11:50
Um ... where is Soylent Green? Those closing lines are amazing! One of the most well know, I thought. Alien and Watchmen also deserved a spot.
Oh Total Film, if it was longer? Please stop being s**t.
Sep 30th 2012, 17:24
@wbinfo23 That would be Alex Zane then...
Sep 30th 2012, 18:50
@Hadouken76 - Why Alex Zane? It says Simon Kinnear wrote the article / list.
I will agree though, that the "funny" additions were at best pathetic and at worst downright insulting to the reader's attention.
As for my favourite last lines, The Terminator, Terminator 2, Needful Things, Road House, Insomnia, The Matrix, LA Confidential, Iron Man, Road to Perdition, Rocky, Pulp Fiction, Big Trouble in Little China (which has great dialogue throughout), The Hudsucker Proxy and one of my favourite Denzel Washington films, Fallen (I'd also have Shao Khan from Mortal Kombat: Conquest's closing monologue on here if it included TV shows).
Oct 1st 2012, 2:09
To those idiots complaining about the article isn't funny: why don't you shut the f**k up and try to do better. Morons.
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