50 Funniest Movie One-Liners

...and how to use them in real life

50

Comments

    • Hadouken76

      Nov 7th 2011, 10:36

      "why dont you sh/t in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up first?" When you are nagged into buying something.

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    • FBGRedmond

      Nov 7th 2011, 11:58

      I don't want your Fap! I'm a Dapper Dan man. For when someone has something that you don't want.

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    • devilsfoxes

      Nov 7th 2011, 17:48

      um ye, that mark zuckerberg "invented facebook" line had them rolling in the aisles..................................... haha jk, actually the "minimal amount of attention" speech is way funnier

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    • devilsfoxes

      Nov 7th 2011, 17:57

      also, isn't there some kind of law that you have to put "don't call me Shirley" on this list? a lot of great lines in super troopers could have made it in. also the graduate "plastics", anything from goldblum in jurassic park, countless great one liners in the man with no name trilogy "god hates idiots also", "when you gotta shoot shoot don't talk"...... .... basically i should write for total film

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    • drumspeak

      Nov 7th 2011, 22:13

      How on earth is Fletch not represented here?? And Caddyshack?? ugh.

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    • ArcaneMovieTees

      Nov 8th 2011, 12:35

      One of the worst one liners has to be from the Seagal film 'Hard to kill" "Let me take you to the bank senator...the blood bank!"

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    • ChairmanRalph

      Nov 11th 2011, 13:18

      "I have 2 words for you, Shut the f**k up" De Niro to Charles Grodin in Midnight Run, Works in every situation

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      Nov 14th 2011, 1:44

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    • FBGLove

      Nov 24th 2011, 8:19

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    • zapper747

      Sep 22nd 2012, 7:18

      "Clever girl"??

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    • PearDrops

      Sep 22nd 2012, 16:02

      "Clever girl" definitely! Also good to break out a Mean Girls "Boo, you w***e!" when you're friend gives you a lame sorry-I-can't-make-it excuse...

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    • PearDrops

      Sep 22nd 2012, 16:02

      *your

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    • FBGKennelly

      Sep 22nd 2012, 18:14

      DARK KNIGHT RISES ''then why are you people here.. ''

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    • lanijones

      Sep 22nd 2012, 18:57

      'b***hes, leave'! and 'Can you fly, Bobby?' Classic Robocop lines!

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    • Padla

      Sep 22nd 2012, 23:57

      pooooor. poor. poor. Not a mention of Bad Santa saying "well s**t in one hand and wish in the other, see which one fills up first"!? More mediocre work from the Total Film intern. The majority of this list is random and just not funny.

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    • apo1978

      Sep 24th 2012, 12:51

      I really don't understand this arcticle and, to some extent, a few of the responses. Isn't it supposed to be the "funniest" one-liners? Not just random quotes? Very very odd......

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    • ChrisWootton

      Sep 24th 2012, 15:34

      "I got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now.. Jack and s**t, Jack's left town" Number one for me.. I'm still waiting for an opportunity to use it in real life

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    • pdacoakley

      Sep 25th 2012, 8:59

      "You're gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no f*****g teeth" Blues Brothers

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