50 Strangest Amazon Movie Reviews

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    • AlfredsDream098

      Oct 25th 2012, 6:31

      These are called "OPINIONS" Total Film.

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    • Skins99

      Oct 25th 2012, 7:09

      So basically, someone's opinion/review that doesn't agree with your opinions/reviews is strange?

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    • danwitherall

      Oct 25th 2012, 7:38

      This is just the latest in a long line of frankly rubbish 'features' to appear on this site.

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    • mattburgess

      Oct 25th 2012, 8:23

      I was expecting 'strange' reviews, possibly funny too, not just reviews that disagree with someone at TF. Another pointless, thoughtless feature. It's like you guys aren't even trying anymore.

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    • piffle

      Oct 25th 2012, 8:40

      I think folk are being a tad negative about this article. Looking at it reasonably the movies themselves are generally films where there is an "accepted" critical and public response that they are either high quality or low quality. These reviews are 'strange' because they fly in the face of received wisdom. As has been pointed out, everyone has the right to an opinion - but as the expression goes, opinions are like arseholes everyone has one and they're full of s**t.

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    • marc96

      Oct 25th 2012, 8:56

      think it would have been more interesting if you had made a list of total films strangest movie reviews, should be to poke fun at yourself

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    • ash333

      Oct 25th 2012, 10:02

      I quite liked Rob Zombie's Halloween.. Let the right one in was in my opinion not a lot of fun to watch. Martyrs has the same problem for different reasons, same goes for Wolf Creek to a lesser extent and Shaun of the Dead isn't really a horror film is it now? This list has a very Mark Kermode feel too it, pouring scorn on the dull witted, mayonaise sandwich eating trailer trash who dare to review a film based on how enjoyable they found it.

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    • AndySunshine

      Oct 25th 2012, 10:16

      Ok I love Amelie, but that was a solid negative review. And well written at that. The allegory to the overly sweet candies and pretty wrappers is totally valid with that film as it is more about style than substance. This entire article is kind of bull as it is basically TotalFilm saying that their opinion is "better" than everyone elses. I'm currently a film student and most people respect my taste. I like a bunch of different genres and love discussions about films. And I will say right here. right now. That I've always found Fight Club to be over praised and Sucker Punch underrated. No matter what you say to me you won't change that opinion. You can question it and we can discuss it but I have a right to it. This article isn't funny or witty, it's simply stupid.

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    • NoTimeToulouse

      Oct 25th 2012, 10:49

      these are opinions, sure, but quite qualificably wrong, on most accounts. It's a totally fair article - or it would be, if it weren't relying on idiots sharing their disabilities on Amazon for 90% of the whole piece, ad the 10% authored by TF is, as painfully usual, almost as mindless. THAT is the problem with this article. Don't get hung up on this 'opinions' BS. It isn't a real point. But DO rage against the drop in quality at Total Film. We hang on because we hope it'll get better, and because we love TF, but this is a two-way thing, you slacking feckless morlocks.

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    • maryjune

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:12

      The "It's A Wonderful Life" one...I can't even fathom...

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    • michaelfrancis

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:25

      i remember the last disney film to have a hanging scene TARZAN

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    • scragg

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:30

      What a smug self-satisfied waste of time. It’s virtually trolling. While we are on the subject please top printing the office ‘gems’ in the letters pages. Keep your in-jokes to yourselves and stop giving mediocre blockbusters good reviews in exchange for on set access, it’s an embarrassment to everyone involved.

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    • Hadouken76

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:40

      Josh isn't 'Winning' over anyone here.

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    • Mings

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:55

      Why so serious folks? Yes the reviews featured are just opinions, but they are for the most part the rantings of viewers that have used Amazon during their allotted hour on the computer, in the secure unit they call home. Accusing 'It's a Wonderful Life' of ripping off 'Back to the Future 2' is, well, a bit deluded really and therefore strange; exactly the point of the feature. Equally, it's strange to hear praise for the likes of 'Batman and Robin', but again that's exactly point.

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    • licencetokilt

      Oct 25th 2012, 11:57

      This is a terrible feature - essentially just lazy movie snobbery. Yes, some of these reviews praise films that a lot of us don't like, but so what? Essentially you're pointing and laughing at people's opinions. So someone says Annie Hall isn't funny. You say it IS funny. Wow, what a retort. Face it, Woody Allen isn't for everyone, and I totally get why people would think he's c**p. Additionally, a lot of these amazon reviews aren't interesting enough to highlight. They're just contrary opinions. Wow. Big controversy. And personally, I think Daniel Day Lewis is a shameless ham at his worst, and just because you disagree with that doesn't make you right. Doesn't mean I'm right either. Additionally, anyone who rips into Shawshank Redemption gets a thumbs up from me. That movie could do with being taken down a notch or two.

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    • Vampyre

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:04

      I agree with all here. This is a poorly concieved article, that has been executed badly. When you entitle something as strange, it better be. Fact with the exception of "Its A Wonderful Life" one, pure class, these are opinions, however, i wonder how well this was researched. Not long ago i read through comments on IMDB, it doesnt take long to find some absolute howlers. Usually they start ' avid from Tehran says" or "Hans from Germany says". Come on people i think i speak for all when i say i/we could have knocked this out in say a couple of hours with better results. Time to raise the grade TF

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    • Jareth64

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:07

      A fun article, thanks Total Film! However, it's strange not to find Prometheus at #1. Some of the reviews on there are positively delusional! 4/5 - "Superb" reads one review. Complete lunacy! Others read 4/5 "You won't be disappointed!", 5/5. The most accurate review I have found, although a tad crude, went like this, verbatim; 1/5 "Save your money. It was a disappointment at the cinema on the big screen in 3D. Why would you want to pay to be able to remind yourself, in the comfort of your own home, how badly it sucked"

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    • Jareth64

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:09

      "donkey balls?" is the bit I missed off there. Apologies.

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    • Senver

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:22

      You think these are bad, I was on a site once and I saw a review which gave Prometheus 4 stars!! Imagine that....Oh wait, yes it was Total Film.

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    • FBSDeMorgan

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:24

      Yeah, I was kinda expecting these to be 'strange' as in 'bizarre' rather than 'this person disagreed with me, therefore they are strange'. After yesterdays 'Studio interference' list this is a massive step backwards TF.

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    • FBKCooley

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:30

      Just for the record, 'nuking the fridge' didn't ever once take over for 'jumping the shark', no matter how much any of 'Crystal Skull's' haters wanted it to.

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    • SiMan

      Oct 25th 2012, 12:40

      It does seem a little bit pointless as i wouldn't really class these as 'reviews' as they are comments put on by the general public. Pretty much any film on Amazon is going to have at least one person who goes against what the rest have said - i only ever pay attention to any comments about the packaging/features to be honest on there. The only other use i find for them is judging how many people rating it highly as opposed to one specific review. So if 50 people have given it 5 stars and 3 have given it 2, i'd tend to think it would be worth a look.

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    • seanchandler

      Oct 25th 2012, 14:24

      Ummm less than five of those reviews were actually strange. Someone liking Battleship isn't strange. It means they like a certain type of movie. Someone disliking Akira because it was incoherent to them isn't strange. However, someone complaining "Its a Wonderful Life" is a rip-off of Back to the Future II, that IS strange. Why do you insist on making these lists of 50 when you rarely have 50 things to put on these lists?

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    • writerdave87

      Oct 25th 2012, 14:27

      Ah it's been a while since a good Josh Winning list. I've missed them.

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    • tinadee

      Oct 25th 2012, 14:28

      Wow look at you Mr 'Winning', laughing at people's comment. Such an elitist d****e.

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    • marcusgibson

      Oct 25th 2012, 15:05

      This does smack of professional journalists having a pop at everyman reviewers. This is a poor feature, which reeks of school yard snobbery, poking fun at other people's views because they differ from their own. I know many people who would find The Godfather boring, Battleship exiting and the overrated Shawshank Redemption dull. I am an avid film buff and I will not be told by anyone what I am to like or dislike. We are all entitled to our opinions and the perceived wisdom of the majority of film critics or fans who go along with in crowd is not necessarily correct. But this feature just goes to show how the film snobbery business works. Everyone is entitled to their own views, even the character who thinks that Back To The Future Part II is a victim of plagiarism! This is the reason that I've not subscribed to Total Film for the past few years. Empire it is... Sorry.

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    • smellyhands

      Oct 25th 2012, 15:53

      I only read the first two from this feature and smelled the hypocrisy right away. TotalFilm gave Crystal Skull and Love Actually 3 star reviews. So to have a go at someone for giving them 5 stars is very childish.

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    • Darthshellers

      Oct 25th 2012, 16:17

      Jareth64: claiming that a 1/5 score for Prometheus is accurate is in-fact delusional. Are you seriously suggesting it is on a par with, say, Sharktopus or Spice World: The Movie? Clearly it is significantly superior in every way. A very vocal MINORITY of people heavily criticise films like Prometheus and number 50 on the list: Indy 4, but the reality is that most people, (people who don't vent their spleen with ridiculous hyperbole on sites like this) actually quite enjoy these movies. Indy 4 has an average 6.4/10 from over 200,000 ratings, and Prometheus comes in at 7.3/10. Are people really arrogant enough to state as fact that the majority of the audience are "delusional"? Regarding the often discussed nuking of the fridge, it is no more ridiculous than escaping from a crashing plane, sliding down a mountain and plunging over a waterfall in a rubber dingy. And before anyone points out that a nuke can obliterate whole cities, it should be noted that a church which was directly underneath the Hiroshima bomb survived completely intact, as did the people inside. The reality is that sequels/prequels that were made of movies we loved as children are doomed to fail because of the weight of expectation, and the fact that they cannot be assessed objectively. By the way, I am a teacher, and over the last few years, it has become clear that the majority of the kids I work with not only prefer Indy 4 to the new ones, but they like new Star Wars better than the old ones!!!

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    • licencetokilt

      Oct 25th 2012, 17:14

      Re: Suspiria. This is my favourite horror movie of all time, but to call someone strange for not thinking it is scary is in itself rather strange. There are people I know who rate this as more frightening than anything in cinema, but then there are those who think the campy performances, OTT music and unrelalistic style totally distracting. As much as I will defend Suspiria, I totally get why other people don't like it. However, I do have real trouble with accepting that kids prefer Indy 4 and Star Wars 1-3 to the other chapters - beyond nostalgia being a reason I Iove Star Wars 4-6 and Indy 1-3, I can list a kabillion reason as to why they're genuinely better films. Still, that's just my opinion, and I'm not expecting defenders of Crystal Skull to have a similar list of reasons as to why that's better than my choices, if they like it more, they like it more. Obviously, disagreements make for great debate, but this feature in itself is not great debate. It's basically a case of 'my film collection's better than your film collection'.

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    • franciscomoraga

      Oct 25th 2012, 17:32

      these are opinions of people who love or hate thismovies, cinema it's an art and as every art is subjective to the eye and perception of the viewer, for some people picasso is stupid and for others is a genius the same with movies, what if I loved battleship or batman & robin. hey, I have the dvd of planet of the apes and i loveeeed it, i love the shawshank...the godfather, lotr, episode 3 revenge of the sith, what are you gonna do? sue me? people love movies! and you should do ti to. I love masters of the universe since i'm a kid, but i can respect and enjoy the dark knight. by the way I liked gigli, is not that bad, you just follow the current of paparazzi hienas who hated jennifer lopez and ben affleck because they didn't give them a photo. see ben affleck today (the town, argo)

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    • franciscomoraga

      Oct 25th 2012, 17:35

      sorry for the typos i just noticed them now "these movies" god bless america!

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    • parkerwest5179

      Oct 25th 2012, 20:51

      YOU MUST CONFORM. I remember one time, a popular film magazine gave Talladega Nights a 5-star rating...how embarrassing!

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    • parkerwest5179

      Oct 25th 2012, 21:16

      'A truly entertaining article that quite rightly draws attention towards those whose opinion of certain films differs from popular opinion; Don't like Woody Allen films? Think Daredevil is ok? Think the Usual Suspects is a bit overrated? Well then you sir are an idiot! Ha! You like Battlefield Earth! What is the matter with you? We're all supposed to hate that one, and YOU LIKE IT! Again, great article: FIVE STARS!' Nah, just lolz really- this is my blatant attempt to make it onto a future '50 Strangest Total Film Article Reviews' list...Battlefield Earth is pretty rubbish to be fair.

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    • FBALeal

      Oct 25th 2012, 21:18

      Great article. Do not listen those complaining about the quality of Features, TF, you are doing a good job. The whiners are just idiot pussies. They don't count as people.

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    • FBSDeMorgan

      Oct 25th 2012, 23:34

      @FBALeal - Whining about an article? I think some of us were just disagreeing with the title suggesting that some of the opinions posted on Amazon were 'strange' when they were actually opinions that perhaps go against the general grain. I, for one, am not an 'idiot p***y' and I take issue for being described as someone who doesn't count as a person. As this article was about personal preference I am declaring your comment as 'strange' as you are in the moronity. Whoops, typo; minority.

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    • Igrayne

      Oct 26th 2012, 10:41

      Is it just me or do most of the reviewers seem either stupid or they do not know what they are talking about? Half of them cannot even spell. Excellent feature but do agree in basis with the Toy Story and Resevoir Dogs arguments, Resevoir Dogs is bloody boring unless you are a teenager. Agree with Total Film on the Psycho and Spirited Away stance and also Love Actually, terrible and poorly acted film. By the way if you care so much about the people Total Film disagree with do not go onto their site. Total Film get paid to analyse and provide objective opinion and in most of the cases within this feature they are spot on.

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    • FBALeal

      Oct 26th 2012, 10:50

      @DeMorgan....I still stand by what I said.

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    • Jaffa

      Oct 26th 2012, 11:33

      I would say the guy who laughed at acting in The Shining was was laughing at Shelly Duvall. Afterall,she is terrible and does her best to try and ruin the film

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    • Flynners

      Oct 30th 2012, 13:45

      @Igrayne- I agree. The point is, Total Film's purpose is to provide an objective, educated opinion. Of course a child would prefer the new Star Wars films, a lack of competency on any subject would allow someone to enjoy a piece of work more easily as they would glance over the subtleties and be oblivious to flaws, only noticing the obvious. Personally, the only way I can judge a game of football is by guaging my sense of boredom as i watch it so I'm guessing any sporting website would go to town on me. It's not a personal attack on a person's intelligence but rather their knowledge of a specific subject. I say this as a simple plumber/viewer who accepts the fact that anyone in the actual film industry understands more about my favourite films than I do. Stating that you were bored by Godfather but entertained by Battleship only serves to inform us of your taste, which is of no value to anyone unless they want to know about you. These things must be assessed objectively by someone who knows how to really understand and rate them, therefore a common consensus that The Godfather is a five star film isn't merely conformity but a carefully considered result of educated analysis. The only benefit I can see, (ignoring the quality of any particular film), is that certain genres will appeal more to different people so maybe a personal opinion could serve to warn someone who might have similar tastes to you that if they liked The Godfather, they may like Goodfellas but may not like The Shining. Personal opinions don't hold much value of any kind in my book unless the person is competent on a given subject, if you think that's snobbery then fair enough, but, well, that's just like, your opinion, man.

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