Frankenstein’s Monster

Reason he shouldn’t play it: This was the role that even Pacino’s old mucker Robert De Niro couldn’t crack. He’d only try to one-up the intensity and make the creature shouty/whispery.

Nightmare scene we can just imagine: With his creator dead, the monster fights back villagers bearing flaming torches with a hearty “Hoo-hah!”

Who should be cast instead: Mickey Rourke

Smaug, The Hobbit

Reason he shouldn’t play it: The dragon character from Tolkien’s tale needs a voice richer and less prone to cranky outbursts than Pacino’s. Plus he’d only go all method and insist on playing it “real”, strapping on a scale suit and tiny wings.

Nightmare scene we can just imagine: Smaug rises up from his gold pile to confront a terrified Bilbo. Pacino, “kicking ideas around” for the scene, adds the line, “Empathy was yesterday. Today, you're wasting my motherfucking time!”

Who should be cast instead: Ron Perlman