Winston Smith, 1984

Reason he shouldn’t play it: Let’s face it, Big Brother wouldn’t stand a chance against Pacino’s force of will. He’d end up running the place.

Nightmare scene we can just imagine: Attempting to torture and subdue Smith, his captors fit him with a mask filled with rats. Smith says: "You've got some great RATS. And I've got my head... all the way up it!" His captors look around, baffled.

Who should be cast instead: Jude Law

Mellors, Lady Chatterly’s Lover

Reason he shouldn’t play it: He can pull of a decent RADA English accent, but Pacino as a rough ‘n’ tumble Northern groundskeeper having his way with posh English totty? Can’t picture it. Don’t want to picture it. Just did picture it. Fetch the brain-soap!

Nightmare scene we can just imagine: Slipping between Lancastrian and Lower Manhattan, Pacino-as-Mellors tries his best line on Chatterley: “You've been in the sugar business for so long, you've forgotten the taste of real honey!”

Who should be cast instead: Paddy Considine