Pride & Prejudice & Zombies author Seth Grahame-Smith has announced his next assignment – Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.
The movie rights to the tale - which recasts the Civil War Prez as a righteous vampire hunter - have already been sold
So here's a few of our own pitches which shoehorn monsters into classic-lit stories. Studio bosses, get yer cheque-books out...
1. Women In Love With The Abominable Snowman
The original: DH Lawrence’s tale of male/female relationships has done rather well at the movies in the past – Glenda Jackson nabbed an Oscar for her performance in Ken Russell’s 1969 film.
It’s also notorious for the homoerotic wrestling/man-love scene between Alan Bates and Oliver Reed.
Our additions: At one point in the novel, the four main characters head to the Alps on holiday. What better way to spice up a decently dramatic plot than to have the Abominable Snowman crash the party?
Instead of oiled up nudie fella-grappling, the male leads can go hunting a Yeti in a blood-soaked snowy set-piece finale...
The package: Jude Law and Ewan McGregor team up as the new Bates/Reed and Vin Diesel steps up to his greatest part yet by donning mountains of Rick Baker-created fur to play the Yeti.
Glenda Jackson has a cameo as a chalet owner who is horribly murderlised by the creature.
Directing? We’re after someone who can handle period material and monster action. Step right up, Joe Dante...