Jackson Pollock (Ed Harris)

The Film: Pollock (2000)

Why They Are Irritating: What exactly is the talent here – he’s throwing paint at a canvas. We could do that, hell, we probably have done it, but did anybody revere us as great artistic talents? No.

And aren’t artists ever totally well-adjusted and balanced individuals?

Typical Quote: “If people would just look at the paintings, I don't think they would have any trouble enjoying them. It's like looking at a bed of flowers, you don't tear your hair out over what it means.”

How We'd Fix It: A paint brush, an easel, and a chair. All that bending over the canvas has got to be back-breaking work, a nice sit down, a smaller, more manageable canvas and a proper brush and he'll probably be just as shit as our 'Bowl of Fruit' efforts.

Next: Frida Kahlo