7 Most Uncomfortable Sexy Movie Outfits

Don't get these out on Valentine's Day. Please.

                                                                                    

With Valentine's Day around the corner, your thoughts are probably starting to turn to the sort of sexy outfits you can ask your other half to dress up in.

You might even be turning to the movies for inspiration. Well, whatever you do, don't look to this lot for ideas. The future of the human race depends on it.

Whose outfit is it?

Sybil Danning's from Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

Why is it uncomfortable?

We're not sure what this one's made of. It appears to be cheap plastic, but it's probably meant to be alien crystal or whatever.

Either way, it looks about as easy to wear as a t-shirt that says 'I Hate Rednecks' at a wrestling convention.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?

Because she'll look at it, look at you, look at it, look at you, look at it...then kick you straight on the shin. Hard.
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Whose outfit is it?

Angelina Jolie's from Mr & Mrs Smith

Why is it uncomfortable?

This latex number might not be uncomfortable on the right girl, but Angelina wears it with about as much sexual pleasure as a toilet cleaner wears gloves.

That isn't a seductive look on her face. That's a grimace.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?

Again, on the right girl, this little number would look great. But if your other half isn't into S&M, this probably isn't the most romantic outfit to pull out from behind your back on February 14th.

Whose outfit is it?

Milla Jovovich's from The Fifth Element (1997)

Why is it uncomfortable?

Not so much an outfit as what you'd find at the bottom of a doctor's cupboard, we're hoping the set wasn't drafty the days Milla shot her bandage scenes.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?

Not only is it ridiculous, it was designed by Jean Paul Gautier, which means it'll be super pricey.
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Whose outfit is it?

Natalie Portman's from Star Wars Episode I

Why is it uncomfortable?

It's fine, as long as you don't want your girlfriend to move. For any reason. If she turns her head too fast she'll break her neck under the weight of that hairdo faster than you can say Jar-Jar Binks.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?

She probably takes long enough to do her hair as it is.

Whose outfit is it?

Natalie Portman's from Closer

Why is it uncomfortable?

Like Angelina's Smith outfit, this is more about the gal wearing it than the outfit itself.

Portman makes the most awkward stripper since Elizabeth Berkley decided to become a Showgirl. With another major downside; she doesn't actually strip.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?


Because we imagine you'll want her to undress at some point.

If she sticks too close to the Portman template, she'll never take it off. Not when you're looking, anyway.
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Whose outfit is it?

Dr Manhattan's from Watchmen (2009)

Why is it uncomfortable?

Depends on how confident your girlfriend is about walking around in the buff, we suppose. Whilst painted blue.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?


That all depends on how you feel about Smurfette. We've encountered worse fetishes.

Whose outfit is it? 

Sean Connery's from Zardoz

Why is it uncomfortable?

Look at it. Just look at it.

Why shouldn't I ask my girlfriend to wear it on Saturday?

Because you'll be so overcome by its sexual potency, you'll never leave the house again.

Comments

    • rorschach

      Feb 11th 2009, 22:10

      Guess you guys ran out of ideas for the last 2 huh?

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    • TinaBoffin

      Feb 12th 2009, 13:37

      I'm hoping my husband won't want me to dress up like Zardoz - or that would mean he'd owe me a seriously huge bunch of flowers frankly - it's all in the negotiation

      Alert a moderator

    • whereistheline

      Feb 16th 2009, 0:27

      Sean Connery looks lovely in those little pants, that moustache as well. Oh my. Personally I'd rather be naked and painted blue.

      Alert a moderator

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