Ice Planet Ecstasy

The Film: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The Cold Moment: The film opens on the Ice Planet Hoth, the best planet ever invented, with Luke Skywalker out on patrol during an awesome blizzard.

Apparently, in order to lay low from the heat of the Empire, the rebels chose the most remote place they could find in hope of avoiding detection.

The real truth is that the Rebel Alliance was sick to the back teeth of stifling heat waves, and set out on the most holy of pilgrimages for the promised land.

Skywalker is minding his own business, understandably enjoying the blizzard, the experience like all his Christmases rolled into one (our words, not his).

Unfortunately, a Wampa tries to kill him in the face, dragging him out of his beloved sub-zero weather and into a considerably warmer cave.

His face all shades of ugly, Luke manages to free himself from his predicament with a little lightsaber love and sets off on his Hothian steed, a Tauntaun, back into the fun-filled snow storm.

The ecstasy-inducing conditions are two much for the indigenous creature, and it collapses and dies of sheer joy, leaving Luke to enjoy it all by himself.

Arriving to spoil the party is Han Solo, who finds young Skywalker passed out, overcome by the terrific sensation of being covered in snow.

He cuts open the stomach of the Tauntaun and throws Luke inside, using the still warm body to heat Luke back up to a wholly uncomfortable temperature.

Never did trust that Han Solo fellow. He shot first, you know.

How To Recreate It: Take advantage of the summer savings down at Iceland by buying up a shipment of frozen peas, and turning your living room into a pea palace.

With bags of peas piled high to form furniture and bags of peas covering the floor, you’ll need to turn up your brand new A/C unit to 11, and sit back and enjoy the tennis, on your bags-of-peas mounted flat screen TV.

Next: Snow Bathing