Indy IV and Transformers star Shia LaBeouf has spilled the news that The Beard has "cracked" a plotline for the next Indy movie.
There's still a long time to go until shooting might start, though.
So, before George Lucas gets his clammy hands on the treatment, we not-so-humbly present our own thoughts on what Dr Jones & Son might do next...
1. Indiana Jones And The Tediously Topical Financial Riff
The plot: A prequel, set in 1920s Depression-era America.
Behind the local job centre, a mysterious hooded figure spins out-of-work Indy a curious tale about there having been THREE stone tablets handed to Moses on Mount Sinai, rather than two.
The missing third slab allegedly contains a formula for predicting financial trends eons into the future.
Indy must venture into the network of sub-Sinai caves to retrieve it before the relatively new-fangled Nazis, also on to the rumour, get there first.
The twist: The hooded figure shows up midway through Indy’s mission, and reveals himself to be a senior Vatican official who also seeks the formula for the exclusive benefit of the Roman Catholic church.
The climax: It all goes tits up and Indy is forced to sacrifice the tablet in an erupting volcano - along with the evil Vatican stooge and a busload of mini-Hitlers - in order to escape.
In a 1937 epilogue, a second wave of recession hits America hard. (At which point, cinema-going students of economic history around the world go “Ooh, clever!”)
Next: Indy In Space...
Comments
adammiller2k
Jun 19th 2009, 1:39
Indiana Jones and the CGI Memory Wipe. Indy has waking dreams of his past experiences, but did they really happen how he remembers? He is torn between what he remembers and what his memories show him. Was everyone really holding torches instead of guns? Were the spirits that came out the ark really computer graphics? ...and only on some versions of his memories does he see a bald dude holding a human heart. Follow Indy as he relives all of his past adventures, only shamelessly ruined . ...i really hope they leave this series alone now, i thought the last one was awful! "story by george lucas" how could he have been proud of that? - i have a great idea...another indy movie. (producers)- sounds good, go on. - he's settled down, but he realises he has a son. - oh ok, that sounds ok. - and the mum is marion - oh thats pretty sweet - yeah and she's been kidnapped by soviets, so indy and his long lost son have to rescue her - yeah that sounds like a good idea - and there are crystal skulls - there are what? - crystal skulls but they are actually the ACTUAL skulls of ACTUAL aliens that built loads of stuff on earth long ago - ...right? - and the soviets want the skull to brain wash everyone. - the skull of a dead alien...brainwashes people? - yeah. and there are evil ants and nice monkies - ok? - and it will cost about the same as world debt - sounds like a solid plan george, here's the cash!
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junalapag
Jun 19th 2009, 15:50
sounds incredible. a great story and a great title. i hope.
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TheTingler
Jun 23rd 2009, 11:21
Hmm, not taking this seriously then TF? :P
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FBRGoyal
Sep 22nd 2011, 17:51
First one sounds the best but they're all gay..
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