5. Indiana Jones And The Resident Evil 5-Like ‘Is It Racist?’ Nervousness
The plot: Something about voodoo and zombies and stuff, in the remote mud-hut villages of Africa.
In fact, let’s just plunder the Resident Evil 5 game wholesale for this one. An icky parasite has been chewing its way into the minds of townspeople, turning them into mindless slaves to their own insatiable blood-lust.
But there’s no weird side-plot involving the black market sale of biological weapons because that’s a) too realistic for Indy and b) too likely to get Paramount sued by Capcom.
In this case, it’s a weird side-plot about the black market sale of, umm, a haunted ivory chalice or something.
The twist: At one point, Indy is infected with a parasite too, meaning that his cabal of assorted helpers have to shackle him up in the back of their Jeep and race him to a desert shaman.
The climax: Indy escapes and goes on a massive killing spree, and it all ends in nauseating tangles of knotted viscera and glistening fountains of claret seeping into the sand.
Next: Lego Indy...
Comments
adammiller2k
Jun 19th 2009, 1:39
Indiana Jones and the CGI Memory Wipe. Indy has waking dreams of his past experiences, but did they really happen how he remembers? He is torn between what he remembers and what his memories show him. Was everyone really holding torches instead of guns? Were the spirits that came out the ark really computer graphics? ...and only on some versions of his memories does he see a bald dude holding a human heart. Follow Indy as he relives all of his past adventures, only shamelessly ruined . ...i really hope they leave this series alone now, i thought the last one was awful! "story by george lucas" how could he have been proud of that? - i have a great idea...another indy movie. (producers)- sounds good, go on. - he's settled down, but he realises he has a son. - oh ok, that sounds ok. - and the mum is marion - oh thats pretty sweet - yeah and she's been kidnapped by soviets, so indy and his long lost son have to rescue her - yeah that sounds like a good idea - and there are crystal skulls - there are what? - crystal skulls but they are actually the ACTUAL skulls of ACTUAL aliens that built loads of stuff on earth long ago - ...right? - and the soviets want the skull to brain wash everyone. - the skull of a dead alien...brainwashes people? - yeah. and there are evil ants and nice monkies - ok? - and it will cost about the same as world debt - sounds like a solid plan george, here's the cash!
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junalapag
Jun 19th 2009, 15:50
sounds incredible. a great story and a great title. i hope.
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TheTingler
Jun 23rd 2009, 11:21
Hmm, not taking this seriously then TF? :P
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FBRGoyal
Sep 22nd 2011, 17:51
First one sounds the best but they're all gay..
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