There’s no greater pain than seeing one of your favourite flicks getting the remake treatment.
That grimy edgy horror flick you grew up on suddenly becomes a crop-top biopic starring the actress from that show your girlfriend watches.
So we thought it'd be fun to try and come up with some remakes that'd annoy Hollywood as much as their slick versions of our favourite low-budget classics annoy us. Don't try any of these at home.
Effects so basic you could easily recreate most scenes in your garden, performances that mostly consist of extras screaming, and a moral message that’s still pertinent today.
Godzilla is the perfect monster movie.
Effects so fake they look like they were created on a PC, performances that mainly consist of Ferris Bueller smugging it up for the camera, and a morally bankrupt message – bigger is better? Not in this case.
Godzilla is a rubbish monster movie.
The Remake Remake:
We steal two crocodiles from the local zoo and place one in Matthew Broderick’s bed and superglue the other to Roland Emmerich’s back. Film both scenes, and arbitrarily cut between two. Drop in some stock footage of people running away and screaming. Win six Oscars.