People are way too negative about celebrities doing adverts.
Take Jessica Alba’s recent Calamari calendar, for example. Sure, it’s a bit gauche – but it does mean that we’ve got 12 new pictures of Jessica Alba to gawp at, which can’t be a bad thing.
But of all the celebrity sell-outs, Japanese adverts get the worst press.
You know, the ones that your favourite actors assumed would never travel outside of Kyoto, because they were too drunk on free Saki to remember the word ‘YouTube.’
Well, we’re here to say they shouldn’t be ashamed. The following adverts are brilliant and they all beat Hollywood at their own game.
Brand Awareness: The director seems to understand that, with Angelina, all you have to do is point a camera at her and the product will sell itself. Trust us, these things get far more lunatic from here on in.
How it triumphs: It allows Angelina more dignity in 15 seconds than Tomb Raider managed in two films.
Brand Awareness: We're not sure how on-brand this one is, actually. One of the biggest icons of the modern age, pushing a photocopier down some stairs. Maybe they saw Fight Club?
How it triumphs: Darren Aronofksy couldn't talk Brad into being in The Fountain; the Roots Coffee folk convinced him to sign-off on that ridiculous 'gulp' sound effect with relative ease.
Brand Awareness: With Kiefer, you've got a choice. Either Sellotape a mullet to the back of his neck and superglue some fangs to his incisors, or convince him to bark angry orders into a walkie talkie. Thankfully, they went for the latter.
How it triumphs: We're not sure why, but we believe the sight of Keifer running through a train full of Japanese school girls barking "Yes!" "No!" more than we did when he delivered any of his dialogue in Mirrors.
Brand Awareness: It takes a while, but eventually, the focus of this ad is entirely on Diaz's arse. Much like the Charlie's Angels films, then.
How it triumphs: This is pretty much Diaz's most charming performance since The Mask. Possibly because you can't hear her talking in it (despite the fact it's an advert for a cell phone).
Brand Awareness: It's completely bonkers. Spot on.
How it triumphs: It's Nic Cage singing the words: "My favourite things! My favourite things! Blue jeans, seeing a red haired girl! Sweet peanut butter, a salt berry candle! A cup of tea and a good book, dancing with a raindeer! And also Panchinko Sankyo!"
We'd rather watch that than 'Next' any day of the week.
Brand Awareness: Someone saw Batman & Robin. Someone thought it wasn't quite camp enough.
How it triumphs: Honestly? This is funnier than 90% of the comedies released by Hollywood this year. If you don't crack a grin at Arnie's manic laughter (which starts at the 19 second mark and goes on for around 10 seconds more) then we're going to have to set a Predator on you. Sorry about that.
Brand Awareness: This one reminds us of the fake ads in Zoolander, but, you know, real. Clever.
How it triumphs: Stiller's snubbed his nose at foreign cinema so far in his film career, but for a boatload of Yen, he's prepared to learn Japanese, no problem. In your face, Hollywood.