It’s the 40th anniversary of the moon landing and a quick search on the Googles reveals the there are plenty of folks out there who still believe NASA faked the historic Apollo 11 Mission.
Despite compelling evidence to the contrary, there are over 17 million pages asserting conspiracy, which got us thinking; who would NASA call if they wanted to fake a moon landing in 2009? Here are some visionary options...
Oliver Stone
The Director: Vietnam vet screenwriter turned director with strong political leanings and a passion for conspiracy, Stone has turned out his share of Oscar winners, and the odd turkey too.
He’d make the film just to prove a fake moon landing film exists.
The Astronauts: Tom Berenger as Buzz Aldrin, Willem Dafoe as Neil Armstrong, Charlie Sheen as Michael Collins.
The Landing: With a voiceover from Charlie Sheen’s Michael Collins as he orbits the moon, we follow Dafoe’s Armstrong carefully climbing down the ladder.
“Houston, I’m just about to take the final step down on to the surface; this is one small step for man, one giant gaaaar…”
Armstrong is tackled from behind by an enraged Berenger/Aldrin, cutting off his historic speech as the men slam into the moon’s surface.
“Tranquility Base please clarify” shouts a concerned CAPCOM controller at Houston Mission Control.
“Houston this is Aldrin,” asserts Berenger, as he plants a hefty forearm to the throat of Dafoe, “Something attacked Armstrong, I’m trying to get it off”
“Please confirm, you’re being attacked?”
“It’s some kind of space something, it’s killing him, I can’t, I can’t get it off” he smiles, landing a powerful knee to Dafoe’s junk, “I’m aborting mission”.
Berenger lands one last blow to a dazed Dafoe and bounds back up the stairs into the landing module.
Locking the door, he initiates blast off. The camera cuts to show Dafoe running towards the module, well spacewalking toward it.
Realising he won’t make it, Dafoe falls to his knees, captured in a glorious multi-angle slow-mo by Stone, fistfuls of Moon dust falling through his fingertips; Dafoe sells it like Ronaldo in an 18-yard box.
The film closes with a power-point presentation by Kevin Costner’s conspiracy theorist, as he points out all the flaws in the obviously fake footage.
“Come on, I mean, TOM fucking BERENGER? Riiight. What is this, the frickin’ 1980s?”
Sample Dialogue: Dafoe/Armstrong “I love this place at night. The stars... there's no right or wrong in them. They're just there.”
Next: Lars Von Trier
Comments
ebrown2112
Jul 20th 2009, 9:34
D: Martin Scorsese Buzz Aldrin: Leonardo DiCaprio Neil Armstrong: Robert DeNiro Michael Collins: Daniel Day-Lewis
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peqdavid5
Jul 22nd 2009, 19:45
Director: Wes Anderson Neil Armstrong: Luke Wilson Buzz Aldrin: Jason Schwartzman Michael Collins: Bill Murray Neil and Buzz, somehow, turn out to be brothers, so they discuss how the trip to the Moon will help their fraternal relationship, meanwhile Collins has a an old-man crisis and begins to write a diary full of complains. Buzz and Aldrin fight but Collins fakes to suffer from cancer to catch their attention and re-unite them. They become best friends somehow at the end, and the final scene is a slo-mo walk around the moon with all three of them smiling at each other while a folk song is playing. Sample Dialogue: Armstrong/Wilson: "I´m going to kill my self tomorrow" Aldrin/Schwartzman: "Are those daddy´s oxygen tanks?"
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