Crimes Against Evolution: It’s not much a crime as a tease. If monkeys can have wings, and we’re all based on monkeys, then why aren’t we flying though the skies like an army of obese supermen?

We mean, cheers for the opposable thumbs and everything, but we want wings! Even if it means turning bluer than James Cameron's wet dreams.

Darwin Dialogue: “Man is descended from a hairy, tailed quadruped, probably arboreal in its habits. No wings though.”