Night Of The Strangler
You can't murder someone who leaves the door chain on; it's basically a guarantee of short-term immortality. Which is why nobody's ever been murdered by a stranger, or 80% of victims know their killer, or whatever. Look, we're not murder statisticians; we just believe in the infallible power of the little slidey chain. We need to. Please don't take that away...
"Failed to put the dummy into the proper recovery position, but showed advanced understanding of her optimal body position in relation to that of the victim. Some frenzied stabbing, but dealt confidently with the multiple choice sections of the test. Recommended grade: B-."
In a surprisingly crowded genre, the undisputed king of all zoology fails.
The Invisible Maniac
"You can not be serious - it's been what, like fifteen minutes? Seriously girls, I'm fucking through with mail order."
It's Called Murder Baby
No, it's called...actually, we haven't got a clue. We don't even know how on earth it could possibly come about. Anyone got a Kama Sutra handy?
The only thing the graphics department were hoping to vindicate here was the depressing amount of time they spend coding 2D space shooters on their bedroom ZX Spectrums. They failed. What the hell is this movie about?
The Violent Professionals
If you will insist on having a keyhole the size of a small car, you deserve everything you get. Trivia fans: all of Sir David Frost's drawings look like this.
Rule #2: For bonus points, use your Survival Stick to bounce the inflatable hedgehogs into your team's coloured basket. Whichever team baskets the most hedgehogs by the end of the game earns 10 additional Survival Points - it could make all the difference!
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