You'd think this local community would be aware of something so massive - after all, our landlady went apeshit when we tried to smuggle a small kitten into the flat. We've little sympathy, then, for the hapless Hooters waitress pictured here. Mind you, the bloke with the groceries checking his watch really ought to be paying more attention - whatever happened to old-fashioned neighbourly concern?
No, see, the prey is the other one. We'll lend you our David Attenborough DVDs if you don't believe us. Also, having an axe but not being human doesn't make you scary. That's why people aren't terrified of fire engines or garden sheds.
Maybe we just weren't ready for this one...after all, we've never seen someone doing an impression of their van before. In fairness to Danny though, that's a fucking cracking effort - it's quite uncanny.
The Wicker Man
Yes, yes - we know it's a cult classic, and deservedly so. But this cover is silly, and not just because it squanders some of the slow-building mystique by showing us the titular behemoth. All that scarificial wealth the locals shower him with clearly burns quite a hole in his pocket. And her forehead, oddly.
"We called it Sand Beach at first, but then somebody thought of this name. I hope the legal guys let us do it."
A rare example of a time when a more pretentious name would actually have been a really good idea. Wonder if it's wholly coincidental that 'Vidmark' sounds so much like something else.
For some reason, we're reluctant to believe that any mishap involving the dude at the top could properly be classified as an 'accident'. Except maybe the one he's clearly just had with a gallon of baby oil. As for the two doofuses at the bottom - are they running with scissors? Good grief. We blame the parents.
Because nothing portrays the glory of the struggle for the West more neatly than a communist guerrilla carrying a My Little Pony past a giant cable dish.
Next: Evil! Bikinis! Arson!